I received a phone call today from someone very dear to me who said she didn't like my last post, because it sounded like I'd lost hope. I just want to say, that's not it at all. I have not lost hope that Michaela might still be alive and that we might find her. But even if that were to happen, it doesn't change the fact that she has had to endure things that break my heart to even consider.
My own sorrow and grief over missing her are absolutely nothing compared to what she has had to endure. My main source of grief is the thought of my child suffering. The fact that I miss her is as terrible a grief as anyone's who has lost a child or a loved one. The thought of what she may have had to suffer is what really tortures me.
But if she does come home, she will receive more love than her heart can hold. It will overflow and surround her, bathing her in its healing balm. I have not lost hope.