People keep asking me, what does my gut tell me about Michaela? And I tell them, I have so many fears and desires wound up here that it's impossible for me to have a clear intuition. But what happens is, I hear things, and they resonate with me and speak to me. Perhaps that is my "gut" speaking?
Last weekend, Saturday evening, I was driving to the grocery store after work, and I was listening to a Christian program on the radio. It's a program I've never heard before, never even heard of before, probably on a station I don't usually listen to. The woman was talking about a horrific birth experience, from which she herself almost died. The last words she heard from the doctor included, "We've lost the baby and we are losing her," as she saw them taking her baby, who was "blue-black" in color, and placing him on a stainless steel table.
It was several days before this woman regained consciousness, and when she did, she was sobbing over her baby. It took the nurse attending her awhile to figure out what was wrong, but finally she said, "Oh honey, do you think your baby is dead? Your baby is not dead! He is alive!" The baby was not only alive, but he was in excellent condition, perfect 10 Apgar score.
Immediately, I got a flash. That is a message for me. My baby is not dead! She is alive!
So that would have been something in itself, but the next morning I went to pick my daughter up from a sleepover at her friend's. I hadn't been going to do that. I was going to have her sister pick her up, because I had to get ready for church at the appointed pick-up time. But instead out of the blue I called her and said, "I'm going to come and get you now instead of leaving it until later, and that way I'll have time to get ready for church afterwards."
So I get in the car and turn it on. And guess what is playing on the radio? That same show! Not only is it the same show, but it is in exactly that spot, where the mother regained consciousness, thought her baby was dead, and was told that he was not dead, he was alive.
The Bible says that in the mouths of two or three witnesses everything should be established. And I find that is how God speaks to me. Often when I have a question and he has an answer, or when he has something to tell me, I will hear something or read something. It may resonate, or there might be a little tinkle in my brain, or perhaps I won't even really notice that one. But then there will come another identical message, and if I haven't sat up and paid notice before, I will then. Not infrequently, it will come a third time. Usually they aren't from the same source, like with this show. Usually they are several different sources saying the same things. Like, for example, I was thinking about the book I am writing about Michaela, and at least three times in a single day I heard different people say, "It was clear that I had to write about my father." You know, I don't think I have heard anybody say that at any other time in my life, except for those three times on that one day. So, it is clear to me that I have to write about my father in this book.
As I was thinking about writing this blog, my first inclination was to once again apologize. I was going to say, I know I might just be a crazy mom who is grasping at any straw that floats by in order to prop up my belief that against all odds my daughter who has been missing for over 20 years might still be alive. But I'm not going to apologize. YES, this is my hope, my desire, that I will find my daughter alive and be able to hold her in my arms again. But I'm not going to apologize.
Never have I received one of those messages that indicates that I should give up that hope. Never have I received an indication that a person thought to be alive might be dead. Always I have been given hope.
Of course, I do know that to be true. Wherever she is, I know that Michaela is alive. But I do believe she is alive here in this world. And Michaela, wherever you are, if you read this, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come home! If someone knows where she is, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! You can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can leave a voicemail at 510-995-7085. You can write me at P.O. Box 55844, Hayward, CA 94540. You can call 911 and ask them to contact Inspector Lampkin at the Police Department in Hayward, California.