Friday, October 2, 2009

More Hope

People keep asking me, what does my gut tell me about Michaela? And I tell them, I have so many fears and desires wound up here that it's impossible for me to have a clear intuition. But what happens is, I hear things, and they resonate with me and speak to me. Perhaps that is my "gut" speaking?

Last weekend, Saturday evening, I was driving to the grocery store after work, and I was listening to a Christian program on the radio. It's a program I've never heard before, never even heard of before, probably on a station I don't usually listen to. The woman was talking about a horrific birth experience, from which she herself almost died. The last words she heard from the doctor included, "We've lost the baby and we are losing her," as she saw them taking her baby, who was "blue-black" in color, and placing him on a stainless steel table.

It was several days before this woman regained consciousness, and when she did, she was sobbing over her baby. It took the nurse attending her awhile to figure out what was wrong, but finally she said, "Oh honey, do you think your baby is dead? Your baby is not dead! He is alive!" The baby was not only alive, but he was in excellent condition, perfect 10 Apgar score.

Immediately, I got a flash. That is a message for me. My baby is not dead! She is alive!

So that would have been something in itself, but the next morning I went to pick my daughter up from a sleepover at her friend's. I hadn't been going to do that. I was going to have her sister pick her up, because I had to get ready for church at the appointed pick-up time. But instead out of the blue I called her and said, "I'm going to come and get you now instead of leaving it until later, and that way I'll have time to get ready for church afterwards."

So I get in the car and turn it on. And guess what is playing on the radio? That same show! Not only is it the same show, but it is in exactly that spot, where the mother regained consciousness, thought her baby was dead, and was told that he was not dead, he was alive.

The Bible says that in the mouths of two or three witnesses everything should be established. And I find that is how God speaks to me. Often when I have a question and he has an answer, or when he has something to tell me, I will hear something or read something. It may resonate, or there might be a little tinkle in my brain, or perhaps I won't even really notice that one. But then there will come another identical message, and if I haven't sat up and paid notice before, I will then. Not infrequently, it will come a third time. Usually they aren't from the same source, like with this show. Usually they are several different sources saying the same things. Like, for example, I was thinking about the book I am writing about Michaela, and at least three times in a single day I heard different people say, "It was clear that I had to write about my father." You know, I don't think I have heard anybody say that at any other time in my life, except for those three times on that one day. So, it is clear to me that I have to write about my father in this book.

As I was thinking about writing this blog, my first inclination was to once again apologize. I was going to say, I know I might just be a crazy mom who is grasping at any straw that floats by in order to prop up my belief that against all odds my daughter who has been missing for over 20 years might still be alive. But I'm not going to apologize. YES, this is my hope, my desire, that I will find my daughter alive and be able to hold her in my arms again. But I'm not going to apologize.

Never have I received one of those messages that indicates that I should give up that hope. Never have I received an indication that a person thought to be alive might be dead. Always I have been given hope.

Of course, I do know that to be true. Wherever she is, I know that Michaela is alive. But I do believe she is alive here in this world. And Michaela, wherever you are, if you read this, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come home! If someone knows where she is, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! You can e-mail me at missingmichaela@gmail.com. You can leave a voicemail at 510-995-7085. You can write me at P.O. Box 55844, Hayward, CA 94540. You can call 911 and ask them to contact Inspector Lampkin at the Police Department in Hayward, California.

PLEASE!

16 comments:

  1. Sharon, I pray with you that you are right and Michaela is alive and well and will one day come home to your loving arms.

    In the meantime, you should never, never, ever, ever, NEVER apoligize to anyone for the hope that you have for your beautiful child.

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  2. The first time I read about your Michaela Joy on myspace, I could not get her out of my mind (probably because of my daughter, Michayla Joy). I have always had a feeling that she was alive. The day that Jaycee was found I immediately thought of Micheala and then I was shocked but not suprised to see that they were looking into a possible connection. I know that my opinion doesn't count for much, but as a sister in Christ, please know that I have been praying for her since then. We are hoping with you!

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  3. Sharon,
    I think what you are saying is true..I have the same gut feeling I really do..I feel in my soul that she is alive..we just have to keep working as hard as we can..to get the word out to every one that we know..eventually someone is going to say something...Your faith is amazing and don't think that God is not watching because he is and he loves when we show our faith...much love and prayers sent your way...PS everytime I read anything that you write I start to cry..it really touches my soul the kind of love that you have for your children...

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  4. Don't ever let anyone try to take your hope away. It seems to be the only thing you have left.

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  5. Nobody is ever going to take my hope away. Even if they were to find Michaela not alive in this world, I know that she is yet alive and I will see her again. But hope is definitely not all I have. I have a wonderful family, wonderful children, husband, and friends, and a very strong faith. Those are the things that support me and give me the strength to carry that hope for all this time.

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  6. I respect your faith, Sharon.

    But I'm an atheist, and the hell you've been through for 21 years is further proof to me that there is no god.

    What kind of cruel, sick god would make you suffer so? There is no justice in your situation.

    I'm a grown man, and if I could cry I would. Every time I read about Michaela it makes me feel so angry and helpless.

    If I could just have 5 minutes alone in a room with her kidnapper. But even then, I wonder if that would truly make things even? Would my torturing this man to death make up for the 21 years you and she lost?

    I know I'm rambling. My apologies.

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  7. If what I've been through is proof to you that there is no God, then you haven't been reading the things I've written. God hasn't made me suffer! He actually tried to prevent Michaela's kidnapping. You should read a little further, and maybe you should start here: http://www.missingmichaela.com/my_journey_through_sorrow

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  8. Amen, Sharon! God had given us each free will and we are responsible for our own actions. He is a loving God and wants only what is best for us. He didn't intentionally put Michaela in harms way the day her kidnapper used his free will to take her. We will never know the answers to a lot of things while we are here on earth. If we knew all the answers, we would be on the same level as God. That's where the faith part comes in. We have faith that we will see her again, prayerfully, on this side of heaven, but if not, then if we're belivers, we have certain faith that we will see her again in heaven! And in the meantime, His grace is apparent in your life, Sharon, as you are able to witness to others through your writings and the way you've been able to live your life since that horrible day. God's grace is a wonderful gift! Bless you, Sharon! Hang on to that hope and go with that "gut" feeling!

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  9. God doesnt plan for these horrible things to happen but he is there to support us through them. Last night when I saw you on Dateline I felt the need to let you know I am praying for you and for the return of your daughter---I just pray that anyone that knows anything at all about the disappearance of Michaela would make that call---please help her to get home where she belongs!

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  10. I missed the Dateline episode about Michaela. Will it be on YouTube or somewhere else?

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  11. Dear Sharon,

    I have been reading your blog everyday from the time ive got to know of it ..and everyime it makes me cry ..whatever I do Micheala is there in my thoughts and ime always searching the net hoping to hear some positive news...i just wanted to know if Philip Garidos has been questioned on this and although the cops did not find any clue digging around his home ....they did collect a lot of stuff from his home ....did you hear back on those ...

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  12. Anonymous 1, I don't know anything about YouTube, but there are various clips on here:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33062980/ns/dateline_nbc-crime_reports/?ocid=twitter
    The ones about the kidnapping witness and the mother with hope are about Michaela's case. The rest is very interesting, about Garrido. It was a very well done show.

    And Anonymous number 2, I don't think that our police department has been able to question anybody directly related to the Garrido case as of yet.

    And everybody, leave a name please, even if it's not yours, so I can answer your comments!

    Thanks,
    Sharon

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  13. Dear Sharon,

    This is Åsa again from Sweden... Ive just watched the clips from Dateline.. I cannot explain it but I feel so close to you, when you speak about your hope, your thoughts, your way to keep going...I dont know... We are in different countrys and in different ages, but i connect with you somehow. I think you are an extremely intelligent and warm woman. You are so easy to listen to. Your almost poetic in your way to talk.... This isnt relevant i guess, but I just wanted you to have some good words.... I want you to know that all your children are blessed with you as a mom.

    I pray soooo intense right know that you will have your dreams come true, and your firstborn home with you.

    Trina also seem to be a very very loving person, I really hope she doesn't blame herself.... Obviously anyone in her shues would feel..em. ...i dont know the best word in english...but I feel for her, and I think I understand what she means... it must have been an extremely hard experience, but I think I know what she means when she says she should be grateful if anything.... I am born 1979 so I am one year older than Trina and Michaela.... I feel close to them somehow....

    Mr. Lampkin seems to be a very engaged man, and a very warm and relyable man, keep going!! Please never stop. I pray for a positive solution and in the meantime I will follow this blog (and www.missingmichaela.com) everyday looking for news.

    You all involved are in my prayers. Sharon, you are so sweet and honest, and loving. You deserve the best. And your beautiful daughter does as well.

    God bless you

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  14. Dear Sharon,
    This is a story to share with you about the inner voice within which we believe is God. I had a vivid dream last night that I was driving my car and the police pulled me over and gave me a ticket. I was driving with my children today and I told them at the start of the trip about my dream. The dream made me very careful and of course my daughter, Cameron kept telling me things like "make sure and slow down" etc. We went to the store and on the way home, guess what happened? Pulled over by the police...my temporary tags had expired because the car dealership has held my real tags which have been paid for, I got a ticket for 101 dollars. After the police left us my daughter looked at me and she said wow you are a psychic I said No Cameron, God was trying to prepare me for this and I just knew that this was going to happen. I then went on to explain to both of my children about the inner voice that talks and warns you about things and how important it is to listen to that. I said to both of them, if you have a dream or something inside tells you that something is going to happen please listen to that. You have to listen and follow what the meaning is and if it says No do not go or do not do that then listen please listen..it really made an impact on both of them and I think that they know now what you are talking about...

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  15. Dear Sharon,

    Tears come to my eyes.

    Your faith is so beautiful! He says that our faith is more precious than gold, and I can only imagine how proud Abba Father is looking at His daughter.

    God speaks to me like that, too. Often with 2 or 3 witnesses, but with the big stuff like this, sometimes a confirmation every time I get discouraged.

    Reading your blogs it seems clear that He keeps encouraging you that way. I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful that He is keeping you so close to Him and I feel such assurance that Michaela is being held close to His heart, too.

    Blessings! Love, Deb

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  16. Lord God, I am at a loss for words - but tonight I ask that you would accelerate the path to finding Micheala. Lord, if she is alive in this world, I ask that you would rescue her now. Lord, I too believe she is alive and I agree with Sharon in how you have been speaking to her. God, in faith I ask you to provide answers and make this family and these readers a witness to your love and Truth and protection. Amen.

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