Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dear Michaela,



This is Princess.  She was a little lost dog who wandered up to me this morning, as I was walking to my car to go to church.  I was really looking forward to going to church this morning, but she came right up the driveway and stood right in front of me.  So I picked her up and she was so cuddly.  She was soft and she just molded herself to me.  She was a really beautiful dog, too.  Johnna thought she looked kind of like a Pharoah Hound, and called her Cleopatra.  She had a long, slinky body, and moved almost like a ferrett.  Johnna said she looked like a fox, but I haven't seen too many foxes.  She had beautiful, golden eyes.

She had a county dog license tag on, so I knew it would be possible to find her owner, so of course I had to take her into the house.  Unfortunately, she was scared to death of just our little Spike, who was quite a bit smaller than she was (and who fell deeply in love at first sight), so I knew she couldn't stay long.  I called the number on the tag and they couldn't find a record of it, so they told me I should take her to the animal shelter here in San Leandro and I could leave her there and they would find the owner.  But I couldn't do that.  She was just such a cuddler, and so afraid of other dogs, I knew an animal shelter wasn't a good place for her.

Someone did finally find her owner from the number on the tag, and he lived very close to us.  He wasn't home, so we had to wait for him.  By then, of course, it was way too late to go to church.  But I couldn't just leave this little dog. 

Michaela, have you ever wondered why we didn't come to get you?  I'm sure you know in your head that it's because we couldn't find you.  Maybe when all is revealed it will seem that we should have been able to find you.  With almost all missing children, it turns out that they were within seconds of being saved on at least one occasion, but it just slipped away. 

On my last letter to you, I posted a video of children who have come home after having been gone for a long time.  None as long as you have been gone.  But I just want you to know, you are not alone in this.  Others have gone through it. 

I wonder if you hear me.  If you do, would you tell me, please?

Love you forever,
mom

7 comments:

  1. Sharon,

    These posts personally addressed to Michaela are so beautiful and so personal that it is hard to find the words to post anything in response.

    There have been a few times I have come and read them without posting, but I do want you to know that there are people here who care and are praying for you and Michaela.

    You have such a beautiful heart. I am so glad that you cared for the little lost puppy. I am so glad that his short season of separation from his family was covered in kindness and affection and protection.

    Grace and peace to you!

    <><< Deborah

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  2. Dear Sharon

    Like the person above I too often visit your blog and leave comments.

    Your words are so inspiring to me, they truly inspire me to be a better person even if that isn't there main intention. I feel like no matter how sad and desperate your words are there is a strength behind them which inspires me to be stronger in my life. The strength I believe stems from your undying love for your baby which just never gives up. I suppose this is what is called 'a mother's love'. I know you, like many other mothers of missing children will never give up until you find out the truth.

    There is a clear sense of the desperation in your words that you feel to have your daughter back and this sometimes overwhelms me to the point that I break down. I cry tears for you even though I've never even met you. By the sound of it- many others do also. We all want you to get her back soo badly.

    The day when these tears become tears of joy I pray is coming soon.

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  3. Even if Michaela isn't reading this at this moment in time I suggest you still carry on because hopefully she will get the opportunity to do so one day. And when she does, and she sees that even 21 years later, day after day her mother never gave up that hope, her heart will feel so good, so full of the love she deserved to get all this time. Shes very lucky she has you as her mother.

    Isn't it strange how we have all assumed that she is alive? Well, I believe this is the power of your hope that she is.

    But I also believe that if you have so much faith that there is a possibility that your daughter is still alive than it can't be for nothing. I know Jaycee's stepfather had assumed she was no longer alive and God allowed him to believe this when it obviously wasn't true but it ultimately had a happy ending so God allowed him to travel through this darkness knowing he would reach that light. BUT I honestly don't believe God would let a parent believe that thier child was alive if they weren't. I believe somehow, I'm not sure but somehow a parent would just know if thier child was no longer alive. Is that too wishful? I don't know, but I think if you have even the tiniest belief, I mean not just wish, but actual belief that she could be out there then quite possibly she is.

    I just pray for the day you meet again.

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  4. Dear Sharon ,

    Like both the persons above i visit your blog everyday ...no matter how busy i am I have to check your blog...even though I know after I read ure blog i end up feeling very sad and am in tears .I feel so heatbroken that i dont find the right words to write a comment on ure blog ...but today i am doing it coz i want you to know there are others that feel for u.. i can really relate to what you feel (but never to that extent and depth of sadness that you feel)...i pray everytime that God gives you the strengh and courage to go on ...and send Micheala back home ...praying and hoping for that miracle everyday...

    Regards
    Ruth

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  5. Dear Sharon,
    I also visit often and find myself thinking about you and your family several times a day. I even wake at night worried about you and wondering how you are doing. I catch myself staring out the window while doing dishes or cooking and feeling a pain in my chest for you. I feel awful thinking about how you have had to endure this pain for so many years. I am on the other side of the country but send my love and positive thoughts to you. I hope you can feel the support being sent your way from me as well as all the others that visit you and check in each day. It's great that you have decided to write to Michaela and post pictures. The week before you started doing so I had an overwhelming sense that I needed to tell you to do this and to post pictures of your and her life so that she could see what it is like. I am amazed that you did this and I am so glad. I had several sleepless nights in a row where I constantly thought about how could I tell you this idea without overstepping my boundaries. I do think it will work. The posted pictures of family and your daily home surroundings are a powerful tool. Keep them coming.
    Hugs.

    E.G.

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  6. I totally agree with the persons who left you the comments above ,and many others who have left you comments. I also come here almost everyday and read your blogs. I always want to leave a comment on everything you write ,but I never seem to find the exact words to express what I feel,Your blogs are very touching,and your words always brings tears to my eyes. As I read what you write to your daughter and to the world, it's as if I knew you already. Your such a strong lady ,and your words are so inspiring to me and so many people out there. I just want you to know something you already do. Your not alone, you have so many people out there with a great heart who are keeping your daughters face out there for the world to see. I myself have a myspace dedicated to the missing children and adults,michaela being the first on my page. I'm always posting bullentins on different topics or children. I also post bullentins telling people to visit this website. I feel if so many people stick together and keep all the missing faces out there , we can defently make a difference and the chances of someone seeing them or themselves seeing it ,is greater. Forgive me for writing alot, I just want to say so much at the same time ,and I try to write it as it comes. Your a strong women Sharon, and a wonderful mother. I hope and pray that all your pain goes away soon. Your in my prayers always. Lots of love to your family...from NewJersey...Martina

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  7. Recently, some famous football player's name came up in conversation-'Phil something', I think. I admitted that I was not sure who he was. People were suprised, maybe shocked, since he is apparently a hero in his sport.

    I didn't care that I don't know who he is. I thought, 'I know who Michaela is. And, she is a star. I know about her, and her story, that she is still out there- separated from her family, and that- along with a large internet community, I read Michaela's moms heart blog and try to lend support as she journeys onward - waiting for her missing child to come home'.

    I am rooting for Michela.

    Isn't this more important and meaningful than knowing about and cheering for 'Phil somebody'. I think it is.

    Next time, I am going to say that, not just think it.

    Less focus on 'Phil somebody', and more interest in our missing children might bring them home faster. Be alert to who lives next door.

    Insight

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