Monday, June 14, 2010

Dear Michaela,

It has been many months now since Jaycee was found and my hopes soared that you, too, would be found. It has been a brutal few months. I think that the grief and depression I fell into from this were deeper, if possible, than what I experienced when you were kidnapped.  It was a place that was so raw, so painful, so heavy, I could not stay there and live, so eventually I crawled back onto safer ground. And once there, I began once more to start burying my feelings in the oh-so-many-ways I have learned to over the course of my life.

You are always in my heart, always in my thoughts.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, and I will never stop looking for answers.  But my hope ... well, I've said it before ... hope long unfulfilled is one of the most difficult things to hold onto.  So I let myself fall back into that state of resignation to the likely fact that you will never return to me.  

Recently, though, I have been discussing you in an astrology e-mail group.  One of the people in the group took a look at your chart for the time of your kidnapping.  I have posted those comments on my other blog at http://thewanderingjourney.blogspot.com/2010/06/astrology-reading-for-michaelas.html.  But essentially, he said he didn't see your death in your chart.  

And again, I was talking about the circumstances of your kidnapping.  I talked about your poem.  I repeated your words, that the poem was about "people who had been kidnapped and were being held captive."  People who were still alive.  If you ever told me anything about what happened to you, you told me you were still alive.

I just need to know, Michaela. This astrologer suggests a new set of parents, as though perhaps you became attached to whoever has you, like Jaycee did.  Maybe you want to protect them, like Jaycee did.  But I am just begging you, pleading with you, please don't forget about me. Please don't forget the bond between us.  Please, please extend to me at least a degree of that caring and spare me from this continual, continual pain of yearning and not knowing.  If you don't want to come home, just let me know that you are alive, let me know that you are okay.  Please!

I love you forever, Michaela. I know that you love me, too. Please, speak to me.

mom

7 comments:

  1. At first I wasn't going to comment, since this post seemed too much of a direct "talk" with Michaela, and I almost feel like I'm interfering. However, I want to comment that I find it interesting that her chart doesn't show a death. I don't know much about astrology, but that does stand out. I believe Michaela is alive, I just wish with all my heart she would contact you. You deserve to know what happened. I have prayed so much for you and her. God bless.

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  2. I'm so sorry for the roller coaster you've been on for so long. I really hope you get the answers you need soon!

    Michele

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  3. Just read the astrology notes and I know nothing about astrology so sorry if this is a dumb question but did he study the charts on the day Jaycees kidnapping to see what it says? Just curious how it compares since their abductions were so similar and we know what really happened with her..?

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  4. We would have to have Jaycee's birth data, including the time she was born, and we don't have that.

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  5. chandler from new orleansJuly 1, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    speaking of Jaycee,i just heard on the radio that Jaycee's family is getting $20 million from the California state police department as a settlement for a civil law suit.isn't that awesome? of all the people i don't think there is anyone who deserves it better than she does although that money is nothing compared to what she and her family have been through.but still some money is better than no money at all.

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  6. Honestly, Chandler, I think that $20 million is an obscene amount. They need a leg up, not a handout to last the rest of their lives. A quarter of that would have bought them a home, paid for their education, supported them for a long time to come, been enough to invest in a business. These are tough times, and there are many people suffering in the State of California.

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  7. Read the astrology note. So interesting. Astrology, I think, is the oldest science. The reading leaves open the possibility of Michaela coming home, and being found.

    I tried to search, but still can't understand, what a religious motivation would be and how religion relates to abduction. He said, ' A group act, not an individual working alone 100% definite, I'd say 80% certain a religious motivation.'

    Is there a link to point me towards further understanding of this type of abduction? I believe he also said she was cared for, but lives with restricted movement.

    Blessings,

    ANonymous mom

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