Monday, October 15, 2012

Still waiting ...

A view of the morning fog from my desk.
That's my baby MinPin Spike looking out the window.
I spent my weekend (Sunday and Monday) rearranging my house. My desk has been in a corner with a view of the wall, and I was craving a place that was more peaceful and contemplative. My house is old and in need of a lot of attention, but one thing it has that can't be disputed, and that is a beautiful view. On a clear day you can see the entire Bay Area. The photo on the right was taken on a foggy morning. If it had been clear over the tops of the houses across the street, you would be able to see the City of San Francisco, which is absolutely gorgeous. It looks like a little fairy city from a distance.

My desk is next to the fireplace, where I have lots of
family photos, and memories of Michaela.
I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I love the view, and I love the open window with the feeling of a breeze on my face while I write. I can hardly wait for the rainy season to come, because now I will have a place where I can sit and watch the rain.

This is a good place to sit and wait. But this project also kept me very busy over the weekend. I basically exchanged my desk and couch with my TV. Sounds pretty simple, but there was an unbelievable amount of stuff I had accumulated in and on and around my desk. Of course I had to move it all off in order to move the desk in the first place. It was all over my dining room table, my kitchen countertop, and piled in the hallway. It was an insane amount of paper! And I didn't want to have to put it all back, so I had to go through it all, sort it into what I needed to keep, what I needed to recycle, and what I needed to shred.

All surfaces in my house are visible now, I'm happy to say. Still plenty to do to keep me occupied for awhile. Plus tomorrow I go back to work. A four-day work week this week, and a three-day weekend. I'm looking forward to spending some time at my desk, and I'm hoping that this location gives me the inspiration or motivation I need to work on my book.

Just so you know, I haven't heard anything yet about how long it will take. I'm not calling and pestering anybody about it. This is just one of those things where when it's time, it will be time. I feel more of a need to cultivate peace than to get myself more wound up by demanding answers. I've kind of set the time around the anniversary as when I expect to hear. I think that's longer than most people expect, but it just makes sense to me.

But I will let you know as soon as I do, either the time frame or the results.

Thanks again for your comments, e-mails, facebook comments, everything. Thank you so much for loving Michaela.

24 comments:

  1. I think about you and Michaela often. I can't imagine what this must be like for you. At least I know where my sister is although she was gone for a short time before we found her.. I know where my grandson is..I want this all to turn out so differently for you than it did for them and us. I pray for you often both you and Michaela.

    I do like the room.. it looks very inviting
    Pat

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    1. Thank you, Pat, and I'm so sorry for your losses. (<3)

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  2. Awww, Sharon - I am thinking about you so very much this week. I wish I could just come to hug you. I am so very sorry you have had to go through all of this. I almost feel like I know you so well after all these years on Facebook! Computer problems, appetite differences. But I always think about your beautiful, precious daughter. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain you have been through.

    Thinking about you and your family a whole lot -

    Jackie

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    1. Thank you, Jackie. The internet is wonderful, isn't it? It makes the world so much smaller, makes it so much easier to reach out and touch each other. There are a lot of people I feel I know that I've never actually met!

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  3. Sharon, I hadn't read your blog in quite awhile until tonight. I just read the story about the well on msn.com. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

    Brenda

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  4. Your living room looks great! It must be very inspirational to look out over that beautiful city while you sit at your desk.

    I am thinking of you and your family often and praying you find the peace you deserve.

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  5. I find so much to admire in your attitude toward what life has handed you, Sharon. You are a beautiful person, and it is reflected in the space you have created, as well as in many other ways. May you feel the support and love of all of us around you. Many of us still carry Michaela and you in our hearts.

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  6. Listening to Pink's Beam Me Up, and thinking of you and Michaela. In awe of your strength and hoping you have answers soon.

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  7. I love cuddle spots!!! So glad you are set up to continue sharing and hopefully strenghtening your heart at this time. What a pretty and precious daughter you have! She is truly alive in your heart forever.

    Keeping up hope for the anniversary - hopefully another turn of events that lead to Michaela.

    Diana

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    1. Haha, you mean my desk? It's not very cuddly, but it is very contemplative.

      Thanks, Diana. I feel as though something's going to happen. I don't know if it's this or something else, but something.

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  8. Sharon,
    I have followed your story for years now and I so often think about what I want to write to you, what words of encouragement I want to share with you, and yet this is the first time I'm actually writing to you. Nothing I thought of ever seemed good enough. I'm younger than Michaela (I'm 22), and I cannot imagine being separated from my mom and my entire family when I was 9 years old. On top of that, I can't imagine the pain you have felt for so many years - longer than my own life! I am constantly amazed by the strength you show and the peace you bring everyone. Michaela's light shines so bright and I can genuinely say that she has made a profound difference in my life.

    Since I found out about your story so many years ago, I have thought and prayed about you, Michaela, and your entire family every day. Since I read your post about the possibility that she has been found, Michaela has been on my mind 24/7. I have worn yellow in some capacity every day since then, and I plan to continue to do so until the results come out (luckily, I love yellow so I have A LOT of yellow to wear :) ). It's my small way of honoring Michaela and your family and keeping you guys in my thoughts and close to my heart.

    You truly are amazing and I hope for this new, beautiful furniture arrangement to help bring you piece during this waiting period.

    xoxo,
    Lindsey

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  9. Sharon

    I dont know what to say, but to let you know that Michaela and the whole family are in my thoughts, as always... This new tip has grabbed hold of me since we've found out and it's hard to think of anything else.

    One thing is for sure....I will never forget Michaela whatever the outcom may be...

    ps. I also like your room, and the rain patters against the window is very soothing....

    hugs Asa

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    1. Thanks, Asa. I think Michaela will be remembered either way. At the very least, I will keep talking about her.

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  10. MinPin is a cutie! I like that you're cultivating peace, good for the soul.

    Elizabeth W.

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  11. Can you please show us your view of the bay area.

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    1. I think I have posted photos of it before, but if the weather clears up I will again.

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  12. Are you still going to write here if it is her?

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  13. I still pray for you, your family and especially Michaela every day. I just *know* that 2012 will bring answers for you...and if a full reunion for you (with Michaela alive and back in your arms) is no longer possible, I pray that you will at least find peace and comfort. Please know that people all over the world are standing with you in spirit as you wait for answers.

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