Sunday, November 18, 2012

To Michaela, 24 years later...

Tomorrow morning it will be 24 years I have been missing you. That means that today marks 24 years since the last carefree day in my life, and yours, 24 years since that last time I was able to be there to still your fears in the night.

There are no words really to express my feelings. But above and beyond everything what I want is for you to know that I love you. I loved you before, I loved you after. For all the sorrow and pain I have had as a result of losing you, I would never have given up the vast joy of loving you, always and forever.

This is an uninspiring video, but this song is for you, Michaela.

27 comments:

  1. Hi Sharon,
    I wish I could be there with you tomorrow but I will have a poster I made of Michaela and will have it in the window of my van for people to see and I will have yellow ribbons.

    You, Michaela, and your family are always in my prayers.

    <3 Love, Hugs, and Prayers <3
    from Thelma Mandera

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  2. Very beautiful song. My heart aches for you and my soul searches for answers. I wish I could solve this case for you. How much I would love to see the day that Michaela is back in your arms and safe once again. I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry for all the years of not knowing. You and Michaela will be in my prayers and heart tomorrow and for always. I am still praying for a happy ending. A new beginning for you and Michaela. I want that so bad that I can feel myself willing it to happen. Every one on this blog love you and Michaela so much that I hope our prayers can be heard and answered.
    Edel

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  3. I am sorry I won't be able to be there. I have been sick. I will have a yellow ribbon on tomorrow and Will be thinking of you and michaela and her siblings. My prayers are with you and your family.
    Susan

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  4. Sharon...keeping Michaela in my prayers. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. I know Michaela feels your love wherever she may be.

    Maureen

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  5. Sending ribbons of love and peace your Sharon,
    SR Mom

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  6. I am President of a club at my University, and I have asked my club members to tie ribbons around any tree or light pole near campus. I can't go out to California, but I can at least do this much. Even though we're all the way over in Kentucky, we're with you today, Sharon.

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  7. <<<<<>>> : Elder Shama here,
    I have had a persistent ‘spirit” child wanting me to pass on messages—(Have you been praying for this????) A spirit does not have to deceased to visit-they can be in dream-state or even a coma) Below is some verification ?’s and answers I asked for..Please will you review it and let me know somehow if you think it might be Michaela who has come to me numerous times while I was in a dream state? This one says she prefers to be referred to now as “MICKEY” >> stating” My birth name this life holds so much sorrow” “I WOULD PREFER TO BE CALLED “MICKEY” NOW-BECAUSE OF MICKEY MOUSE---MICKEY WAS SMART AND MADE PEOPLE SMILE—LOTS OF PEOPLE KNOW WHAT MICKEY LOOKS LIKE AND HAS A GOOD FEELING CONNECTED WITH IT.””—I have another pg with dialogs (about life purpose) but do not want to send it to the wrong parent-Please somehow DISCREETLY let me know your thoughts:

    ME..I need you to verify some things that only your mom would know so she knows this really you….

    >> “One time she dressed me in reallllly itchy white clothes…or… how milk felt thick on my tongue? you mean like that?”

    ME…. Yes how about some favorite and not so liked things….

    >>“ I LIKED… M&M’s—soda pop (flashing colors purple & orange ) chicken (flashed kfc like drum stick) and (chunks in soup)—noodles- “sticky” rice and some veggies ( Flashed dark color green-spinach & a cartoon character Popeye flashing his muscles)—then quick tongue sticking out! )—I liked bright colors even with food. I guess I have always been a rainbow spirit kid””……

    >>“I wanted to be a musician and a writer (flashed stack of thin books with adventure like stories for kids)….and a teacher (showed sliding a pointer on a chalk board diagramming sentences)…and a pilot (flashed large commercial plane on a runway)—I liked PIANO and violin music the most—(flashing picture of professional on stage concerts with named instruments)”

    >>“I DIDN’T LIKE…mean people…the smell of cigarettes (flashed a full clay like astray), old coffee in a cup –(flashed dark rings inside a cup)- and boozey breath (flashed an old man in the living room on a visit
    leaning down and speaking to with breath reeking with alcohol—too much homework (flashed looking out a window preferring to be outside)--LOUD noise bothered my ears…….”

    ME… How about other things about the body you had problems with or noticed…

    >> I squinted my eyes sometimes when I was thinking hard (flashed BIG thick lenses set of eyeglasses, as though that would need to be worn in the future )—my toe nails seemed to grow really fast—sometimes when I was mad but wouldn’t say anything I could feel my nostrils spread open a bit--my chest would get little wheezy—my skin would get red in the sun quickly--my hair was thinner then I wanted and like I said my ears were sensitive to certain…you know noises….(all the above had pictures flashed with each of them which I interpeted and strung into sentences as best as able)……(((Does any of this resonate? Do these perceptions fit how your daughter may have seen herself or the world?? Or is the child who prefers to now be referred to as “MICKEY “ Someone elses child?)))) Elder Shama

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  8. Elder Shama, there are many things that do resonate and some that don't sound so familiar. We did have a family code word to use to identify one another. That would be a definite identification.

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    1. Oh my! I have just learned that different cultures interpret the word discreet and DISCRETION differently!!! But where the wind blows is the direction it should go. I have inquired about this” family code word” you have spoken of and there is none that has come. This must be someone else’s child . The only image I kept getting as a response is a symbolic hand with every finger bent except the index finger which is pointing down a cement street lined with tree’s and houses. Perhaps that indicates that down the road the child’s family will see this blog and recognize their child by what has been said. The mystical mysteries keep the old heart young with wonder.
      Elder Shama

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    2. Not sure what you are referring to. If you meant you did not want your comment printed, usually people ask not to have it printed, but for private communications my e-mail address is in the contact information in the right hand column.

      I would think that much of this information would fit many children. I don't think any children like mean people or the smell of cigarettes. Michaela's hair was thin, and she did want to be a writer but had never been in a plane.

      Good luck.

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    3. I desire the deepest longing of your heart to be met soon.
      When people are traumatized, especially children, they have the “gift” from Great Mystery of being able to separate their spirit from their body. Therefore deceased or not they can transcend beyond the experience and encompass a continuation of “being”. I think that the depth of love you have for your daughter can transcend the confines of earth’s time and a link can be made. You and she direct.
      Elder Shama

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    4. P.S. (From the first group of received messages from “ Mickey”- for further resonance)
      Referring to her mother from this life : “This time she was my mom… she was Lillian to me before”

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  9. Michaela has held a place in my heart since she went missing 24 years ago today. See I was her age and lived just a few short miles south on mission. We also had a store just a few blocks away that we walked to so I often wondered growing up how this happened to her and why. It could've been any kid, at any store on mission...it could've been me. As a grown woman now and mother to a 1 year old boy, I am just broken hearted for you, Michaela and your family. I wanted to come today but felt you may be better off with a more intimate group. You've been on my mind all day and I hope that you've had enough support to help ease some of your pain. You all will continue to be in my prayers.
    Jessica

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  10. Sharon are you going to post pics of yesterday at Mexico Super.

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    1. Yes. I was too tired last night and might not have time before Thanksgiving, but I will. I actually didn't take many myself, because there were so many people, I was busy talking all the time.

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  11. Sharon I'm confused? I've seen several news forecast and some said a few weeks on the testing and 1 said 6 weeks?

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    1. The testing hasn't yet begun. It is hoped that it will be started this week. Once it is begun, the results will be back in 3-4 weeks.

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  12. Sharon,I thought about you and Michaela all day on the 19th and at 10:15 am (your time) I said a silent prayer. I hope the 19th was a day of serenity,hope,and a celebration of her life for you. Best wishes for a good Thanksgiving.

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  13. Almost 2 weeks have passed, any word?

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  14. Look what she said:

    Sharon MurchNovember 20, 2012 7:42 PM

    The testing hasn't yet begun. It is hoped that it will be started this week. Once it is begun, the results will be back in 3-4 weeks.

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  15. I know you're all curious about the test, however if Sharon knew she would let you know. Right now, she probably doesn't know and if she did she must be waiting for the right time to write a blog about it.

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    1. There was no harm in asking the question.

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  16. I don't know the results of the test yet. But the testing has begun. We should know in 2-5 weeks.

    Thanks.

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  17. What a beautiful post and music, Sharon!

    My 19 year old daughter wants nothing to do with me now and I don't understand why. It breaks my heart every day but I keep reaching out and hoping that she'll return.

    I am so very lucky though, Sharon, and I do know it! But my (less) broken heart longs for my sweet child. I am praying that Michaela will return to your loving arms.

    God Bless you.
    Jackie

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  18. Michaela is in the hearts and minds of so many, she will never be forgotten. Michaela is my age, I grew up in Hayward too. And I remember her name as far back as I can think. I have raised 4 kids so far, and all grew up hearing the story of Michaela.I know she's the reason I'm so over protective of my children. In April 2013 I am due with my daughter, we are naming her Michaela.

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