Sunday, May 5, 2013

Bad dreams, hopes and fears

I had a dream last week about Michaela being found, or more specifically about some remains being found that were thought most likely to be Michaela's. It was a particularly disturbing dream, with details I couldn't pretend to understand and don't want to even think about enough to analyze them. But at the end of the dream I was facing another wait for DNA confirmation, and I was just filled with despair.

One of the comments on my previous blog asked if I believe Michaela will be found. This made me think about what "being found" means, and how I feel about it. I have actually castigated myself on occasion because I do not really aggressively push the investigation. I know the realities, the facts of what investigators can and cannot reasonably do. I find those facts to be really frustrating. But is there any way around them? I don't know. If I made myself a royal pain in the ass, would it get me anywhere?

I don't know. But I do know that most of what could be done would not lead to the kind of resolution I want. I think I just don't want to push anybody too hard to tell me what I don't want to hear. And except for the human trafficking in the middle easy, that is where most of the primary leads would go.

The human trafficking is not easy to crack. I know of many people looking for daughters who have disappeared into this. The avenues into this closed world are few. Michaela, if you are there in one of these places, as much as I would like to promise that someone will sweep in to save you, I'm afraid that to do that we would need a direct informant to give us specific information. I hope and pray that there may be someone out there who loves you enough to do that for you. Otherwise, my sweet girl, your best hope is to escape. I have posted information about the US embassies in the UAE on this blog, on the page titled how to get help. In the weeks to come, I will try to add information about other embassies in other countries. Even if you are not Michaela, if you are a trafficking victim, I hope you will use this information. I can tell you, your family is grieving your loss. Whatever you may have been through, they want only for you to come home so they can hold you, as I do with Michaela.

Wherever you are, I love you forever Michaela. One day, one way or another, I know I will hold you in my arms again.

mom

8 comments:

  1. Sharon, I too believe that one way or another you will hold Michaela in your arms again. May it be soon, here in this life. But if not, this life is less than a blink in time. I don't know where we came from or where we're going, but I believe that at its heart, the universe is kind.

    In the meantime, please take care of yourself. Don't second guess yourself for what you have or haven't done. You've done all you could and then some. And you've managed to laugh and love along the way. Just be well and ready for the day when you will hold Michaela in your arms again.

    Cindy

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    1. Cindy, you are such a nice person. Thank you for your continuing support and kind words. I appreciate it.

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    2. It is such a shame that in a world where we have so much power and technology that we cannot help the children that get taken to the uae. You would think that there would be a way to rescue them. The US has so many unneeded programs that they spend time and money on. They really need to start a program just for this cause. After all, the children are much more important than finding new planets, sending rockets into space and supporting the illegals that come into this country.
      Sharon, hopefully Michaela will have the chance to find a way to contact you or get help from someone who can.
      Keep writing to her on here as if she is reading it I know one day she will find a way.

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  2. Sharon I'm watching the news right now and Amanda berry. Gina Drjesis and Michelle Knight have been found alive in Cleveland. Been missing for 10 years. I pray every day that Michaela is found safe. Events like this show how possible it is. It's on CNN right now.

    - Rod Robison

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  3. did you check out the news on "Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight " I never heard of them but apparently they were missing for a long time...google it.

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  4. Today is Amanda "Nikki" Campbells 26th birthday. Yesterdays great news that the two missing girls were found shows that here is still hope for Michaela, Nikki, and all the missing.

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  5. Dear Sharon,
    Huge hugs from Montana. Just tonight, I've read much of this blog and some of your other blog (the vegan thing is great)!! But my heart goes out to you. We won't ever stop searching for Michaela. Nor will we forget her, or your story. The world seems dark and it truly is....but know that hope will always exist. It is part of our human condition. Please know we all have hope for you and her.
    XOXO.
    Christian

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  6. ana@ubiratan.com.brMay 23, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    Querida Sra. Sharon,

    Acabei de ler o livro "Vida Roubada. Autor: Dugard, Jaycee" e acho que a senhora está certa em continuar lutando para encontrar sua filha... Não desista da Michaela, pois Jatcee, Gina, Amanda e tantas outras estavam vivas e hoje retornaram para suas famílias... Um grande abraço! Ana/ Brasil

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