I had a dream last week about Michaela being found, or more specifically about some remains being found that were thought most likely to be Michaela's. It was a particularly disturbing dream, with details I couldn't pretend to understand and don't want to even think about enough to analyze them. But at the end of the dream I was facing another wait for DNA confirmation, and I was just filled with despair.
One of the comments on my previous blog asked if I believe Michaela will be found. This made me think about what "being found" means, and how I feel about it. I have actually castigated myself on occasion because I do not really aggressively push the investigation. I know the realities, the facts of what investigators can and cannot reasonably do. I find those facts to be really frustrating. But is there any way around them? I don't know. If I made myself a royal pain in the ass, would it get me anywhere?
I don't know. But I do know that most of what could be done would not lead to the kind of resolution I want. I think I just don't want to push anybody too hard to tell me what I don't want to hear. And except for the human trafficking in the middle easy, that is where most of the primary leads would go.
The human trafficking is not easy to crack. I know of many people looking for daughters who have disappeared into this. The avenues into this closed world are few. Michaela, if you are there in one of these places, as much as I would like to promise that someone will sweep in to save you, I'm afraid that to do that we would need a direct informant to give us specific information. I hope and pray that there may be someone out there who loves you enough to do that for you. Otherwise, my sweet girl, your best hope is to escape. I have posted information about the US embassies in the UAE on this blog, on the page titled how to get help. In the weeks to come, I will try to add information about other embassies in other countries. Even if you are not Michaela, if you are a trafficking victim, I hope you will use this information. I can tell you, your family is grieving your loss. Whatever you may have been through, they want only for you to come home so they can hold you, as I do with Michaela.
Wherever you are, I love you forever Michaela. One day, one way or another, I know I will hold you in my arms again.