Saturday, September 6, 2014

The Prophecy**

A few years ago, when I was attending Faith Fellowship in San Leandro, Pastor David Silvey* called me out with a prophecy.** He said that I would get the answers that I seek, that he could see the police coming to my door,  could see me falling to the floor. Years have passed, Pastor David and I have each gone through our individual wilderness times, but managed to find each other again. The other evening I was attending a Bible study he teaches at Lift Ministries, and he mentioned this prophecy. It is the first time since it was given that either of us has brought it up. It was, I believe, the first service in the new building which is to be the new home for the church. He was teaching in front of the group assembled, and he said to me, "I haven't forgotten the prophecy I gave, and it will come to pass. I see the two men coming to your house. I see you falling to the floor."

I have thought about this prophecy often throughout the years. I have tried to place it here or there, or to imagine this or that. The falling to the floor part has always thrown me. I am NOT a demonstrative person. When I sat at a table in the police department facing two detectives and they informed me that a bone has been found that was thought to be a child's bone, which was thought to possibly be Michaela's bone, I felt a wave of grief wash over me. I felt my throat close with what threatened to become tears. But I held myself. My unconscious mind was not about to allow me to show my grief. I was quiet for a moment, swallowing it down before I trusted myself to speak. Allowing myself such a display of emotion as falling on the floor just doesn't sound like me.

And honestly, as time passes, it gets harder and harder to even purposely get down on the floor! The joints are cranky, and collapsing just doesn't come naturally to me anymore! It would take an awful lot to make me fall on the floor, and it's been difficult to imagine what that might be. But I realized the other night, as I was hearing Pastor David speak those words again, that what I had always imagined in considering this scenario is that what the police would tell me would not surprise me. Somehow, deep inside, I would have been expecting their words for more than 25 years. It would not be a shock. I envisioned myself saying, "Okay. Thank you." Then I would close the door and turn away from them.

This is because as much as everybody pats me on the back and encourages me to have hope, I have not really had a lot of that. I have thought about Michaela being found alive, I have created elaborate fantasies around it, but I haven't really believed it was possible. The hope that I have had, well, it has been a different kind of hope, more of an eternal kind of hope and trust in God to know what he is doing. But in spite of the long-missing girls who have been found, in spite of the leads that say that Michaela is in this country or that country, in spite of the fact that I still write letters to her, I have not really and truly believed it is likely that Michaela is still alive. But how could I? If I really, really allowed myself to believe that, I would be setting myself up for the most crushing pain and disappointment the world can hold. Believe me, I had enough of a taste of that in 2009 when Jaycee Dugard was found and I was so sure Michaela would be found with her. But worse, if I really, really, really believed Michaela was still alive, I would have to live with the likelihood of all the terrible things she would have been enduring all these years, and still enduring. Neither of these outcomes is easy to embrace.

What I realized the other night is that there is only one thing that would cause me to fall down, and that is if the police came to my house and told me they had found Michaela and she is alive. Yes, that would be what would bring me to my knees.

My prayers changed slightly that night. I just simply asked God to remind Michaela of himself wherever she might be. If she is in a place where she is having difficulty escaping for any reason, God would be the one who could find the way. "Remind her of yourself, Lord. Give her strength, set her free, and lead her back to me." Michaela was actually a strong believer before she was kidnapped. If she is still alive, who knows what might have happened to her faith. It's been a fiery trial for my faith, and I have been safe at home with my family. But one thing I do know, and that is that once you are God's, you are God's, and though you may wander for a year or half a lifetime, he will call you back to himself, and that would be true for Michaela as well.

That's all. That's my prayer. That's my hope. If you pray for Michaela, I'd appreciate it if you would join me in this prayer. It is the first, most essential step to freedom.

And Michaela, if you are out there, just call on God. He will hear you, and he will respond. He will pick you up and spin you in circles, dance with you and laugh with you. I know, because he did this with me. He will teach you, strengthen you, show you the way. If you are interested, you can read some of my spiritual journey on my other blog, at www.just-sharon.com. Just have faith, ask for help, and know that just as God is still here, still loving you, so am I.

Love you forever, forever my baby girl.
mom

*Pastor David Silvey teaches Thursday night Bible study at The Lift Ministries in Hayward at 22580 Grand Street, right off A Street. The building is green and currently not marked as a church because it was recently purchased and is in the process of being renovated. Also, Pastor David has his own blog, which can be found at http://davidsilvey.wordpress.com/

**It occurred to me as I was thinking about this blog that there may be people out there who are not familiar with the notion of prophecies, or who think it is something confined to Daniel, Isaiah, Revelation and the like. Actually, it is just one of the gifts that is given to Christians. Jesus told his followers that it was better for them if he left them, because while he was here he was with them, but after he died he would be in them, in the Holy Spirit.

It was never difficult for me to get this. When I began exploring Christianity, the first book I read in the Bible was the Book of Acts. This was in the 1970's, when the Charismatic movement was sweeping through the Catholic Church, and it was a priest who told me to start there. It was quite an eye opener, completely challenged my idea of what Christianity was all about. What I wanted to know was why I'd never heard any of this before.

If you are interested in knowing more about this, I suggest you read the book of Acts in the Bible. Everything in the Bible after the book of Acts teaches about the gifts of the spirit in one way or another, but for a quick reference, 1 Corinthians chapters 12 through 14 is a good place to start.

9 comments:

  1. Wow Sharon
    I'm almost speechless after reading your words. Your faith and love for God inspire my life so much. I'm still praying for God's miraculous miracle for Michaela.
    I love this part that you wrote and it is so very true ("But one thing I do know, and that is that once you are God's, you are God's, and though you may wander for a year or half a lifetime, he will call you back to himself" )
    Thank you so much Sharon for always sharing your heart with us. God is so Good!
    Love and Prayers always for Michaela, You, and ALL of your Family
    from Thelma Mandera

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  2. My heart and brain cannot even begin to fathom the pain and devastation you have been feeling all this time. I was 8 when Michaela was taken, and I remember seeing the news and it stuck with me. It stuck with me all these years and with every child found, I keep hoping it can be the same for her.
    I pray for you often, and moreso when the instances of Miss Dugard and the girls from the Midwest. If they can be found, why can't she? I don't know why I connected so much with this case. Perhaps it is because it was another Northern California girl, close to my age, and could have been anyone's child, you know?
    I wish I could write these words more eloquently. I don't know why the words I want to say won't come.
    I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are all in my heart. Always.

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  3. it is strange how when i first read your description of the prophecy, i immediately thought the falling down must be because she was alive - simply because it would be the most shocking. i suppose it would be ALMOST as shocking if the police said something like, "so-and-so has confessed, described the murder, we have her body," or something very specific that would bring as much closure as it is possible to get. i still pray that happens... the past can't be undone, but either way, Michaela CAN come home.

    as i've shared with you before, although i am very clear that my experience is NOT anything like what happened to Michaela, i was abducted as well. and let me tell you, even though it was only a month & i was related to one of the people who had me, i was in another country with 2 strangers, one of whom was with me 24/7, and my younger sister was there too so i felt like i needed to be the protector. i was 13, so in the grand scheme of things, similar to Michaela's age. everyone is different, and i'm sure being taken the way she was by a stranger was infinitely more horrible than even I can imagine. that said... while i was going through it, the ONLY reason i wanted us to survive was my Mom. i knew that if she lost both of us, she wouldn't survive. if one of us came home, it better be my little sister, because if i did & she didn't, then it was ME who wouldn't survive. there was one night in particular where we both thought it might be the end. i literally worked out a plan with her that would sacrifice me to buy her time to get out the window & start running. she didn't know i was meaning to fight until i was dead, or that i wouldn't leave unless that person was unconscious because i wanted to buy her time, but there's no way. in that moment, if she hadn't been there, i'd have wanted to pray for death. but my Mom kept coming into my head.

    from all that you've written, it seems you & Michaela had the same bond my Mom & i have. and even if the pain was so great that i wanted to die for my own selfish reasons, even if my sister hadn't been there, i'd have had to fight because i love her too much to give up. i share this to let you know that even if Michaela died that same day, she knew you loved her. and knowing that love gives you strength BEYOND anything you can put into words. it gives you a reason to FIGHT, to find the will to survive. obviously it isn't completely up to you - even the fiercest will is no match for a murderer. but it means that if there is ANY way to survive, you'll find it... anything in your power, you'll do it.

    to this day, even though it's been 14 years & 1 month, i remember getting off the plane and walking to my Mom's arms. i remember feeling relief, and frankly, a lot of it was that i could be the kid again and being able to walk off that plane with my little sister with me made me feel so accomplished. ultimately it was GOD who protected us, so i'm not taking the credit for that. i'm just saying that i'd managed to get her back without a physical scar. emotionally, she literally has blocked out everything up to & including the abduction. (she has some memories of that month, but nothing before, and most of that month is lost to her.)

    but guess what?

    even with the trauma causing her to block out the first 11 years of her life, she had no question about what she was returning to. she knew she would find safety and support at home, and most of all, she'd find love. we both did. Michaela may not remember everything - trauma may have caused her to block it out - but it's strange, you don't forget a mother's love.

    please keep us posted whenever you learn anything (that you're allowed to share, that is). praying that one day Michaela WILL come back to you. :-)

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  4. Thank you Michelle. That was breathtaking.

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  5. Hi Sharon

    I hope this message reaches you in good health. have followed your blog for many years.

    The other day I remembered you suddenly whilst reading the Quran (I am a Muslim). The Surah (chapter) I was reading was Surah Yusuf. This is all about the Prophet Yusuf and his story on how he was thrown in to a well by his brothers and left for dead. His brothers went back and told their father he had been eaten by wolves yet his father simply did not believe his son was dead. Many years passed and the Prophet remained missing and his father never gave up the belief his son was till alive. He grieved so much that he went blind from the amount of tears he cried. After many years they were finally reunited. In sha Allah (God willing) you will also get such an ending.

    I urge you to try reading that Surah- in both its English Transliteration and English Translation. I feel it will give a peace and connection to God. I believe reading the Quran before we sleep and praying to God for help allows our soul to communicate with God. Sometimes when I sleep I see a dream that I believe is a message from God. This is how Muslims believe God communicates with us. Please try it Sharon....I feel I needed to tell you this..'With hardship, comes ease'. 'Allah gives no soul a burden greater than it can bear'...

    Lots of love

    Asalam Alaikum (Peace be with you)

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  6. Hello Sharon,

    I am also a Muslim as is another poster here.
    You see the Bible and the Quran share a lot of things such as life lessons. They both support the reader and reinforce the fact that a believer who has been going through a very difficult time WILL ALWAYS HAVE GOD right next to him as long as he keeps faith in Him. I would like to share a few particular verses (or rather sections of those verses) which have always kept me going during the times when I felt it was impossible to continue. I hope you will find as much solace in them as I do.

    "So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me" (2:152)

    "So verily, with the hardship, there is relief." (94:5) *This verse is repeated TWICE one after another and it emphasizes God's support so beautifully.

    "O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient." (2:153)

    "And be patient, for indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good." (11:115)

    "And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein" (50:16)

    The following verse is from a conversation between Moses and God concerning Pharaoh and his injustice. It is a remarkable reminder that He is with us.

    "[ Allah ] said, "Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see"

    The following verse talks about the good treatment of parents.

    "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." (17:23)

    "And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things. " (65:3)

    Stay strong, Sharon (as you already are) because you are an amazing mother who has persevered through these years to build a beautiful family. Michaela will be so proud of you.

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  7. Sharon,
    I wrote you once a few years back on Facebook. I clearly remember the day Michaela went missing. I was about 4 years old, living in San Lorenzo. My dad hopped in his truck and drove around looking for the van or any sign of Michaela. I feel that moment was a time when the innocence of my childhood went away. I was no longer allowed to play in the front yard by myself, and unfortunately, the word "kidnapping" now had a face.
    I have a young daughter of my own now. I admire your strength. Whenever we hear anything about Michaela on the news, my brother and I listen closely, and we think of her often. I will continue to pray for you and Michaela.

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  8. “But one thing I do know, and that is that once you are God's, you are God's, and though you may wander for a year or half a lifetime, he will call you back to himself,”<3 Indeed! GREETINGS EVERYONE.
    Sharon this special blog theme reminded me of this inspirational song…"Word of God Speak" by MercyMe (lyrics) (excellent quality)” Best to you, P.M.R-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTY-UKgLlXs

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