Monday, October 6, 2014

Hoping, Believing for you Michaela

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget I will not forget you. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. Your children hasten back to you. Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you.... Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed." Isaiah 49:15-18, 23 
"You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, 'It is hopeless;' you found new life for your strength and so you were not faint. Isaiah 57:10 
I am so hesitant to believe, to have hope, to accept any promise. But I have to. And however long it takes, I have to. There were few promises of God that were fulfilled speedily. Almost always they involved long waits. Abraham's wife Sarah was barren, but God had promised Abraham a son, and eventually that promise was fulfilled -- 25 years after the promise, I believe, and after Sarah's childbearing years had passed. In other words, the promise was not fulfilled until it had become impossible for it to be anything but the hand of God. And that long, impossible wait took its toll on their faith, just as it does on ours. In fact, they tried to take matters into their own hands ... God had promised Abraham a son and Sarah hadn't been able to get pregnant, so she suggested that Abraham use her handmaid as a surrogate. Wars are still fought today as a result of this faithlessness, as the various descendants of Abraham claim their birthrights. Jacob also waited long years, believing his son Joseph was dead for 20 years until he was reunited with him in Egypt. 

Why, why the waiting, the hoping, the fearing, the grief? Well, for myself I can tell you. For me it has been, and is a refining process, and one which I needed. I can see this, acknowledge and accept it. My difficulty is not understanding Michaela's part in this. But I just have to acknowledge that I do not know; I do not understand. There is absolutely no point in making judgments and being angry about something I don't even know. One day the answers will be revealed. Until then, I just have to have faith.

My heart won't let me give up, Michaela. Over the years when it has become too difficult to hold on, there has always been a chorus of voices saying, "Don't give up! Have hope!" Lately God seems to have been chiming in with that chorus as well. Be well, my baby girl. Be strong. May you be filled with hope and faith and know that my love for you is as strong as it was the day you were born, and the day you left. God's love also is stronger than whatever chains bind you. 

I love you forever, Michaela.
mom

12 comments:

  1. Many times you have indicated in your blogs that you believe your daughter is in spirit but until you know for certain you will hold on to the slim possibility of the other option

    I get the distinct impression that you do not have a solidified belief about the true nature of heaven. Without it anger seeps, hope flails & certainty finds no rest.
    Been There.

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    1. I believe you have misunderstood what I have said. If Michaela died and has been at peace for these last almost 26 years, I can be at peace with that, and I don't actually even need a "solidified belief about the true nature of heaven" any more than I would need to know the floorplan of a mansion she might have gone to live in. But IF SHE IS STILL ALIVE, she is most likely suffering, and as long as that is a possibility I CANNOT have peace, and that is why I continue looking for her and reaching out to her. And if God has left her to suffer for the last 26 years, there could be a possibility of anger to resolve, but I said there isn't any point in having anger over something that might not even exist. And I have come to have peace about my own suffering, and who knows what might be the case for Michaela.

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    2. I hear you when you express “I CANNOT have peace” …There are times we cannot have peace unless we follow outlined Biblical principles for addressing key issues at their root cause
      The book of JOB reveals how the Thief of peace will include the use of evil influenced people to fulfill its plans to cause extreme suffering: “V15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away” v17” The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away,.
      . EPHESIAN 6:10-18 reveals the Thief of peace and innocence , what to do and how to pray about it
      10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
      11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
      12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
      13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
      14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
      15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
      16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
      17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
      >>18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;”<<

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    3. With all due respect, that's a just plain stupid thing to say. If you figured your child was being raped and beaten, you, my friend, would not have peace. Do not ever again tell me that my problem is that I do not have a correct understanding of scripture because if I did the suffering of my child would not be a problem for me. I suggest you not try telling that to anyone else either.

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    4. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. Exodus 17:11-

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  2. “Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” <3 <3 <3 http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-hope-20-uplifting-scripture-quotes

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  3. O afflicted ones, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold I will set your stones in antimony and lay your foundations with sapphires.... All your children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be the peace of your children." Isaiah 54:11,13

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  4. Sometimes I sit and wonder why things happen, and why God allows it. Like Polly being murdered, or all those beautiful kids like Michaela that have gone missing....as I'm sure you have at times. I guess the answer is we will never truly understand. But I do know that faith and prayers can move mountains. So I pray for the safe return of Michaela and all the others in my prayers everyday, like I have for going on 26 years. Maybe a bunch of prayers is exactly what got us the miracle of Jaycee being found. I like to think it does.
    -Rod R.

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  5. Keeping Hope Centered. GREETINGS EVERYONE—especially to the ones who have been praying for Baby Will following Sharon’s request
    SHARON I appreciate the Scriptures from Isaiah 49 & 57 you posted on this Blog. They are very meaningful, ministering and a blessed reminder. ...
    Annnnnnd it was terrific to read on Michaela’s FB pg the update you posted about Baby Will! Today there are 94 thumbs up “likes” there for God’s glory!
    P.M.R

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    1. What a DELIGHT to see the picture of open eyed, smiling preemie BABY WILL!!!! Thanks for posting.
      The miracles and blessing continue to unfold. While the hospital healing continues Will’s Mother gets to heal further from the birth process and prepare for the needs of 2 blessed children. Sister gets to prepare for her not being the sole child receiving attention & the new special big sister role. Dad gets to spiritually strengthen his broader responsibility role. The entire family gets the honor to be a sermon in shoes for hope and the love of God to other hospital patient’s families and an uplifting testimony for multitudes of Intercessors which joined in prays!
      Despite your heartaches Sharon you reach out and care for others. It is a testimony which shines brightly. While prayers on your behalf continue...Thanks for requesting prayers for Will and sharing follow-ups <3

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  6. I have no idea what to write, but today, this gray cloudy day I found myself thinking about Michaela... once again. I don't know why it happens from time to time, but I think it is for thanks to you, Sharon, because if you hadn't started writing this blog, I would'nt have found it, and I wouldn't know about Michaela as much as I do. I actually found this while reading something about Madeleine McCann. I don't know how it's possible, but me being a good distance away from the U.S, in the North East of Europe, makes me wonder how I think about someone who was gone before I was even here. But it's important that I know, although I don't know if anyone else thinks about Michaela, even if they know.

    I'm a person who thinks about children I've met, and children I've read about being missing in USA. I think it's a miracle that Michaela's kidnapping was even witnessed because not that many other possible kidnappings are. And it's even worse thing to handle, and a bigger mystery to everyone. Because no one knows what happened at the time they disappeared.

    Some people might think that once Michaela hasn't been found for so, so long time, it's time to give up searching. And as being not an American, I might be thought to think so too. But I don't. Giving up is NEVER an option, at least when it comes to a missing child. Not to the police, nor to you. And while you continue searching, God is there to listen to you, to help you. And eventually, hopefully, if there is a really, really great fortune, she will come to you, alive. Grown up as an adult, of course, been through a hell, but alive and happy to be back again.

    Once I started think about Michaela today, began hoping, once again, that you will find her, under God's blessing.

    Emilia

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  7. https://www.facebook.com/164212023601512/photos/pb.164212023601512.-2207520000.1415516685./817585014930873/?type=1&theater

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