Thursday, June 4, 2015

Trying to be happy

I really work at being happy. I know that there are no benefits to being unhappy. It doesn't alleviate any of our problems, certainly doesn't make us feel better, and doesn't make the people around us feel better either. I think that God has sent a number of people into my life who are unhappy for one reason or another, at this time or at that time. This has been kind of a blessing, because there is nothing like looking into the mirror of another's soul to help us see ourselves. I don't like people to be unhappy, especially people I care about, so I have a tendency to go around trying to prop them up, to make them feel better. I make myself be cheerful in order to cheer others as much as myself.

But honestly, there are a lot of little cracks that run through my heart, and it takes only the tiniest of blows to make it start aching and leaking sorrow. And sometimes ... well, sometimes I just feel lost.

That's all I have to say. Nothing profound or wise. I do have a lot of happy things in my life, and I appreciate them immensely, but happiness is often delicate, and I guess I just want to say that I would really appreciate it if life would stop tapping on my heart in unpleasant ways and just support my efforts to be happy.

Is that too much to ask? Maybe. But I'm going to work at it nonetheless, because it is good for those I love.

8 comments:

  1. Your own daughter going missing probably taught you never to take your happiness for granted. Because you never know when a part of it falls to pieces in your heart and leaves a black hole. We shouldn't take our loved ones for granted either, because you never know when you lose them. Sometimes you just can't prepare for that. So it's true that some totally unexpected event may break that happiness until you remember you still have it left, in all the loved ones you have and all the good things you have. It can be anything.

    Emilia

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    1. This is true, Emilia. And it is such an extremely complicated emotional cycle.

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  2. Indeed it is a "complicated emotional cycle"!.When I try to be happy it's like reaching into a bag of balloons, blowing up one to the point of being able to tie it up and it pops! after various types of emotional responses I then pick up a different color one and try again. When I decide to connect with God in prayer I lose focus of the balloons because the Holy Spirit fills me with the fruits of the Spirit :Love JOY and peace.....

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    1. It is not trying to be happy that is the complicated emotional cycle. It is the avoidance of pain, which actually often ends up causing pain itself.

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  3. I completely understand what your talking about. It is truly amazing how an awful event in your life, can send everything into a spiral. Now getting up and trying to move forwar,d is so much easier said than done. Then something that is so minor compared to the original event, can knock you on your butt harder than you ever thought possible. Loss in any form has a way of changing you forever. Good and bad.
    - Rod R.

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    1. Yes. You think that having endured what you have everything else should be easy. But it's not. How are you doing, Rod?

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  4. Sharon, when will you be posting about the new info on Michaela?

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    1. It is still being investigated, so I can't talk about it until that is finished.

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