Friday, November 11, 2016

In case you wondered if I was serious

One week from tomorrow will be the 28th anniversary of Michaela's kidnapping. It will mark 28 years since I stood in the doorway and heard her say, so cheerfully, "I love you, mom." That beautiful smile on her face, so happy to be able to go to the store with her friend to get some goodies. Completely unaware that she was on her way to meet the most horrible destiny. And me too, unaware. I stood in the doorway, holding Michaela's eight-month old baby brother, watching her ride down the street until she got to the corner and turned out of sight.

I don't know if you can possibly imagine how much I don't want to think about this, how much I don't want to feel the feelings I have. It is a hell beyond measure.

For years now I have held a public remembrance to tie ribbons on the tree next to the parking space where she was kidnapped, And every single year I have hated it. Oh, I appreciate the love of the people who come. But I hate having to talk, when I really have no words to say. People come, and they try to comfort me, but they can't. Sometimes I have to comfort them, and I can't. I am spent. I am exhausted. I am broken.

So this year there will not be a public remembrance. I know it's probably "cheeky," as my British mother would have said, but in spite of that I do want you to please remember Michaela. I would like you to, wherever you are, tie a ribbon somewhere, It can be yellow or pink or purple or whatever color you would like. You can tie it on your porch, your tree, or the rack that holds your coffee mugs in your kitchen. Just think of her and say a prayer. And if you could send me a photograph of the ribbon, I would be very grateful. My email is sharon.murch@gmail.com, and Michaela's facebook page is www.facebook.com/MichaelaJoyGarecht.

I understand this sounds selfish. I seem to get an inordinate amount of judgment from people these days, mostly over the way they think the investigation should be conducted. I'm just going to tell you all now, if you think you know what should be done with the investigation, or if you for some reason doubt that they did things they should have done in the beginning, tell the investigator. His email address is robert.purnell@hayward-ca.gov. Not a single reader of this blog has any conception of the depth of the investigation. I can't deal with it anymore, and I think I am going to stop publishing this stuff on my blog because it exhausts me, and because it is NOT the purpose of this blog. This is not a web sleuths site. This is a blog that I write so that if my daughter is alive out there somewhere, perhaps she will see that she has not been forgotten, that she is loved very dearly.

But I do want everybody to remember Michaela. I want everybody to love Michaela. I want everybody to pray for Michaela. I want everybody to spread this blog far and wide in hopes that if Michaela is somewhere in the world, she will see it. And let me tell you, Michaela is worthy of that love. She was one of the kindest little girls you could ever hope to meet. She was good to others, she was loving, she was sweet. So you can love her with abandon. She is not her exhausted, broken, and sometimes just plain cranky mom. She is good.

I thank you for understanding. I thank you for loving Michaela.

And Michaela, if you are out there, I will be remembering you, on November 19th and every single day of my life, I love you, baby girl.

mom

19 comments:

  1. I pray you Find her.
    Keep Strong and Have Faith.
    May God bring her home to you.

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  2. Shared. We will be tying ribbons, may not get pics to you, but know there will be ribbons here. While I can only imagine your feelings, I can appreciate the need for space from it. Please know that there are so very many that keep her in our hearts everyday.

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  3. Dear, Sharon
    I will light a candle for Michaela. I pray she is found soon. I pray that all parents of missing children find there missing child. I pray that one day you get a phone call Jaycee's mom to tell you they have found your sweet Michaela.
    Sincerely
    Zahra

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  4. I'm happy you've decided to do what is best for you this year! It's not about anyone else but Michaela and your family! Please know that Michaela is always thought about, always remembered! I wish I could take away some of your pain! The only way I know to do this is to pray for you. God loves you as he loves Michaela so much! She's never been out of his sight! I know we live in time and space now, and eternity in an unfathomable reality. I can't ease your pain in any way, except to point you to the hope that you will surely see Michaela again. I can't imagine what you've been through, what you're going through and never want to come across as if I'm minimizing it. I know more than anything I've ever known, that this present suffering does not compare to the Glory God has for you and Michaela in the future. Romans 8:18 I know that must seem impossible! I keep thinking of 70-100 years on earth compared to eternity with her. I know the character of our loving God, to restore all that was stolen from you, as he promises he would. I love Matt Redman's songs. These are the lyrics to "Abide With Me" I have a home
    Eternal home
    But for now I walk this broken world
    You walked it first
    You know our pain
    But You show hope can rise again up from the grave
    Abide with me
    Abide with me
    Don't let me fall
    And don't let go
    Walk with me
    And never leave
    Ever close God abide with me
    There in the night
    Gethsemane
    Before the cross
    Before the nails
    Overwhelmed
    Alone You prayed
    You met us in our suffering and bore our shame

    O love that will not ever let me go
    Love that will not ever let me go
    You never let me go
    Love that will not ever let me go
    And up ahead
    Eternity
    We'll weep no more and sing for joy
    Abide with me
    We'll weep no more and sing for joy
    Abide with me
    It's a beautiful song! I'm praying so much for you! This too is a beautiful song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJJJkiRukY

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    Replies
    1. Oceans is one of my favorite songs. Thank you for reminding me of it!

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  5. Hello Sharon,

    I am always moved by your poignant and eloquent blog posts. I have thought of commenting before, but never have because the words I have seem so inadequate. But each time I read your posts, I wish for peace and grace for you, Michaela, and your whole family.

    I don't think it's selfish of you to want to experience this year's anniversary in private. I think of you and Michaela often, and I will be on the hunt for a ribbon this week that I can use next Saturday.

    Sincerely,

    Diana S.
    Texas

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  6. dear, Sharon
    Will her case be aired on any shows on the anniversary?

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    Replies
    1. I don't believe so. If I hear of anything I will let you know,

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  7. Oh Sharon, I look at her sweet face in the pic above and wish I had the power to change things for you. When I read the beginning of this when you said you were standing in the doorway with your baby boy and waving to her, well it just makes me sick. No one could have known that day what was going to happen. I know that everyday since it happened you wish you wouldn't have let her go. But you cannot think this way. None of this is your fault. No one will ever understand why God lets thing happen to good people. Especially children. Like I said it just makes me sick. There has got to a clue somewhere or someone who knows something. Is there any other way you can post Michaela's story somewhere. Many people do not use the internet, especially older people. Maybe more flyers, newspaper articles, mailers? Heck I don't know but there has to be a way.

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  8. Dear, Sharon

    Where ever Michaela is always know that there is a god watching over her. And that God is watching the evil man who snatched her from her family. Also he will be punished for what he did either in this life or when he meets God. And Michaela and you will be reunited again if not on earth in heaven for sure. I agree with anonymous above may be more fliers and newspapers and tv shows.Because the older generation don't know how to use the Internet and we need to trigger there memory because they were the ones who can think back may be remember a suspicious acting neighbor they remember or coworker or friend know that the anniversary is arriving. Sharon Michaela is in your heart Whitter you go to the market parking or not.
    Sincerely
    Zahra

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  9. Sharon, I will tie a ribbon in South Africa and remember Michaela as always. xx

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  10. Your love for your daughter is endless and greater than anything in this world. I pray for you both every day and ask the Holy Spirit to give you strength. I pray Michaela find her way home to you.

    Much love,
    From a mom in Texas

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  11. I wonder if the kidnapper reads this blog? My message to him is you took Michaela if she's alive you kept her more than her family did 28 years. Know please say some thing anonymously let her mother know if she is alive or dead. Just say some thing only you the kidnapper would know about the crime. Or even better just confess get that burden off your soul before you depart for eternity. Just let this mother know if her daughter is dead or alive.

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  12. Tomorrow is not only the anniversary date of Michaela's kidnapping, it is also the same day of the week. I think everyone should tie a ribbon in her favorite color around whatever you choose. Waiting on Sharon to tell me what her favorite color is.

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    Replies
    1. You are right. Her favorite color is pink. Just coincidentally, I bought a combination of yellow and pink ribbons to hang this year.

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  13. Dear, Sharon
    I was just telling my mom about how Michaela's 28 kidnapping anniversary falls on the same day of the week it happened. I pray that this anniversary we get good news can't wait for the day I open this blog and it says reunion with Michaela. I'm at a religious gathering I will pray for her again as always may she be found soon.
    Sincerely
    Zahra

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  14. I just put up a pink ribbon for Michaela. I hope this is last year. Come home Michaela.

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  15. Prayers for you and your family

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