Thursday, January 3, 2013

The latest news and a message to Wesley...

Michaela, age 2, with her baby brother, Alex.
Yesterday I was on my lunch break, standing at the salad bar at the little grocery store by where I work, when my phone rang. I looked at it and recognized a number from Hayward PD. So my heart skipped a beat, and I thought, "Is this where I want to be standing, at the salad bar at Trag's, if I am to possibly hear the news that my daughter is not alive?"

As it is, the detective was calling to give me an update and to discuss some of the other things that were going on with the case. The news regarding the testing is that it will be another week yet ... at least. Could be even longer, depending on the results of the next round of testing. But this did inspire me to ask the detectives to please call me after 7:30 at night when they do get the results. I have just decided that there are places I do and do not want to be when I hear the news, whatever it is. And this way, Hayward PD can call me anytime with questions or other news and I won't be flipping out every time I see the number on my cell phone.

Small sigh of relief.

So I'd tell you how I'm doing, but I don't really know. Maybe I mentioned this here before, although I think it was on my other blog, but my doctor prescribed antidepressants a few weeks ago. It's hard to say exactly what effect they are having on me. Let's see, I went to see "Les Miserables" and I didn't cry. Actually I left the theater feeling very uplifted, even elated. Is this my little pink pills, or am I just experiencing inappropriate emotions because of the emotional overload? I don't know. Although it's not that Les Mis is incapable of causing elation. During Ann Hathaway's "I Dreamed A Dream" I literally sat there with my eyes bugging out and my mouth hanging open with sheer joy and amazement over the power and beauty of her performance. Same with the finale.

But on New Year's Eve I watched "Seeking A Friend for the End of the World" with my daughter. She burst out sobbing and crying at the end. I giggled.

I am seriously wondering what I will do if they call and tell me that this bone is Michaela's, that she is not alive. I have been feeling every feeling there is to feel about this for sooooo long now that my feelings seem to have turned themselves inside out and upside down. I've been anticipating it, what will it be like, what will I do, how will I react, how will I feel, what will I be able to do, because I've honestly been trying to ... well, prepare. I've put so much energy into all this, perhaps I have no energy left.

Drained. I am drained.

Anyway, that's the news from here, folks. Thanks for bearing with me. Thanks for the support. Thanks for everything. I love you all.

And one other thing ... this is a p.s. addressed to Wesley ... I attended a meeting last week with a lot of people  -- Cathleen Galgiani, Jeff Rinek, and Joan Shelley among them. It was mentioned that you read my blog sometimes, so I thought I'd try saying hello, because there is a request that I'd like to make of you. At this meeting, there was a brief discussion about your motives in giving the information you have been giving. I can't remember exactly what words were said or who said them, but I was left with the impression that you were doing this because you thought it was time, even because you wanted to do some good. Well, I'm hoping that's the case.

I hear a lot of the things that you say -- not all of them, I'm sure, but at least some of what you have said about Michaela's case. Over the many months this has been going on, I've also heard you say that you don't know anything about Michaela. Well, I don't know what is true and what isn't. I want you to know that it isn't my purpose to assign blame. It never has been. My only interest in justice regarding Michaela's kidnapper is that he not be left in a position where he can do this again to another child, another family, another community, and I think that's taken care of here. While I was sitting in this meeting last week with all these people who have so much information, it occurred to me to ask how these girls died, what method you and/or Herzog used to kill them. But I didn't ask. I'm honestly not sure I want to know. Maybe one day, if I know for sure that this is Michaela. Maybe. But I am not after justice, because there isn't any possibility of justice existing for me or for my daughter after November 19, 1988. And I am not after closure, because this is a wound which will always and forever be raw, with all its nerves exposed for any passing breeze to set off in screaming agony.

What I want is just to know. Honestly, if my daughter is not alive, has not been alive for the last 24 years, then you know what? I can stop worrying about her. I will know she is not somewhere suffering, that she is not being abused, that she is not crying herself to sleep. I will know that she is at peace. I will be able to relax into her presence, if that makes sense. And if she is not alive, I want to bring her home. In other entries in this blog, I have talked about various searches, like that of the Garrido property, and about the fact that I wanted to be there, that I had this desire, if they should happen to find Michaela, to throw myself on those little bones and gather them into my arms. I know that if Michaela is not alive, that she is not in her bones. I know that she has not spent the last 24 years in some godforsaken well or any other impromptu grave. But you have to understand that every single little part of Michaela, all that she ever was and all that she ever will be, is completely precious to me. Even if the only form in which it can be done is in bones or ashes, my heart longs to bring my little girl home, to hold her in my arms even if it is in an urn.

But Wesley, as you can probably see, I am also feeling about as fragile as an eggshell that has been drained of its contents. So I just want to ask you for one thing, and that is for honesty. This is not just an investigation. It isn't just Kevin or Jeff you are talking to. You are also talking to me. I would be very, very grateful for any help you could offer. I just ask you to please not play any games. I have people who need me. And if Michaela is still missing, I need to be able to muster up the strength to continue looking for her. I can't afford to break down.

In spite of what I know to be true of your past, I know that you have had a long sober time to consider all those things. Well, I know I get in trouble with my blog readers for saying things like this, but I cannot even imagine how haunting it must be for you to live with the things you have done, and I do believe that you are capable of remorse, and even compassion, and that you can let it guide your actions. I will trust that you will.

And to my readers, I just want to let you know that I will filter comments made in response to this post. You don't actually have to point out anything to me, because I already know it. However, in this case, it's likely that I know things you don't know also. So you can tell me your opinion if you want to, and I will read it, but I will not be approving any comments that consist of flaming accusations. Just an advance warning.

Thanks for your understanding.

95 comments:

  1. LAPD had OJ's blood on the glove almost overnight, what's taking these people so long?

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    1. Well, I don't know about that, but there is a big difference between relatively fresh blood and a fragment of a bone that is 24 years old. They do suffer degradation and decomposition, so the testing is a difficult process.

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    2. Hi Sharon. I am honestly not sure if I want this bone to be Michaela's or not. If it is your 24 years of wondering what happened are now over. May I ask you a question on the contents of the well? When do police plan to examine the contents and are they able to get to them? If this bone is Michaela's is it possible there are more remains where the bone came from? This has got to be so unbelievably hard for you. You have lived every parents nightmare. God bless you. Kim

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    3. Those are very good questions, Kim. Let's just say that the local authorities in San Joaquin County have apparently lost sight of what this is all about. Hopefully one day they will have some answers.

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  2. Thinking of you, always, Sharon. I sincerely wish I could take some of your pain, just to help you through this, but I know many people feel that way. Much love to you.

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  3. Thanks for letting us know the latest, Sharon. I wish you only the strength you need for whatever the news is. We are with you.
    Julie Greenfield

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  4. Thanks for the update Sharon, you are definitely a better person than I am, I got to give you huge props! You, your fam and of course Michaela are always in my prayers, especially these last few weeks. Try to keep your chin up and hang in there.
    Jen

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  5. continued prayers, Sharon. I hope the answer comes soon.

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  6. Sharon these are your personal, intimate feelings that you share with others. If anyone has a problem with "anything" you say they shouldn't even be here reading your blogs (in my opinion) You helped me through a very dark time when our precious Bailey died in April. I will never ever forget your kindness. I will stand by you in your brightest hour, I will stand by you in your darkest hour..I will be there for you, in spirit and in my heart always. I pray for a positive outcome. You are a remarkable woman, don't let others comments effect you or deter you, thats what that little "delete" option is for. I hope 2013 brings you the long awaited answers you are searching for.~Cris

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  7. You are such a humane compassionate woman...there is a part of me that wants to cuss the little dirty bastard out...for all the pain and anguish he/they caused so many families. He is a coward.

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    1. I understand about the pain and anguish. Not sure how "coward" comes into it, though. There are a lot of words I might use, but that isn't one of them.

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  8. All I can say is that I care about you, Sharon. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself. (((hug)))

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  9. Love to you Sharon, lots of love. I can't even imagine what you are going through, have been going through - but you know that. Somethings can never be understood unless you experience them. Compassion is one of the strongest traits a kind soul can posses ~ your children ~ all of them ~ are blessed to have such a kind, caring, and compassionate mother. I hope that one day soon you have answers.

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  10. Thinking of you and your family, Sharon. <3
    Angela and family

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  11. I don't pretend to understand what you have been through Sharon. I do know that you are an amazingly strong woman, whom I admire greatly. Thank you for the update, and I am praying that you can bring Michaela home, where she belongs, soon.

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  12. Hi Sharon,

    My heart continues to hurt and ache for you, Michaela, and your family. I can't even imagine how you feel inside. I wish I could take all of this bad horrible stuff away and make it all perfect for you, Michaela, and your family. I continue to pray for all of you, and for Michaela to come home and I pray for super, super strength for you. I just wish I had the right words to say to you. Thanks for being my friend and sharing Michaela.

    Love and Prayers always
    from Thelma Mandera

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  13. Sharon,
    I want to thank you for your generosity in sharing Michaela and your feelings with everyone throughout the years. I am certain you have helped others with your honesty. I hope your message gets through to Wesley and he finds it in his heart to give family's the answers they need.
    There was a time in my life that I took anti depressants and the biggest thing I learned through taking them was that I had control of my own thoughts and feelings. They were very helpful in dulling out my feelings when I desperately needed my feelings dulled. But after a few months I decided that, if drugs could make me "OK" It was somewhere within my power to be "OK" with my thoughts and feelings. I don't mean to say others cant benefit from long term use just that there is nothing wrong with just taking a break.. and if there is anyone that deserves a break it is you.

    I hope you can feel all of the love being sent your way.

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  14. You certainly won't get my scolding or judgment. I commend you for your compassion and ability to look beyond others' exteriors. I have not met you, yet you are one of the women I admire the most. You have come so far and, even if it may not feel like it sometimes, I have confidence that you will make it through this, regardless of the outcome. We are all here for you.

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  15. Sharon,

    I don't know if this will help to bring you any kind of comfort, but in case it does, I wanted to share it with you. You are always in the forefront of my mind when I deal with my kids. When I start to get short tempered or irritated with them, I think of you, and I realize how happy I am that they are just here with me. It changes my approach with them immediately. I am known to be pretty anal about things being clean or being in a particular way that is satisfactory to me. When I start to get on my kids' cases about things like this, I think of you, and I decide to stop picking at the little things that quite frankly just don't matter. And I realize I am just thankful that they are here to annoy me with their messes, and I should simply let them BE. I read a comment on here a few weeks ago where someone was sharing with you how her child tends to wake her up during the night, and she used to make a fuss about her child getting back into bed, and now she just lets her snuggle up in bed with her, because you have inspired her to appreciate these little things. Well, same here. I used to fight with my daughter to get back into her bed and stay there until daylight. Now I let her just bring her blanket and pillow into my room during the night and camp out next to me when she wants to, because she feels safe there. And I highly doubt she will want to do that forever. I am not a perfect parent. But I believe you have made me a better mom than I would be if I didn't come here and read all these things that you share with all of us. Everytime my daily crazy life starts to make me lose sight of what's important, you pop into my mind. And I am SURE I am not the only one who you have affected in this way.

    I just wanted to tell you that, in hopes that it brings you some comfort, especially during this waiting period where you feel so incredibly drained and deflated. As always, you and Michaela remain in my thoughts and prayers daily.

    Lots of love being sent from Michigan,
    Becki

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    1. Thank you, Becki. And yes it does bring some comfort, because any positive impact on anyone in the world that comes out of this is a part of Michaela's gift.

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    2. Dear Sharon,

      Thank you for sharing such personal details with us. I have a quetion: You mentioned that Shermantine sometimes reads your blog. Is Shermantine allowed to comment on your blog? There was a comment a while back "I feel so bad about that little girl" which I found really odd and at the time it popped into my mind that he might have written it, but I thought that wouldn't have been possible. But maybe it is. Maybe it doesn't make a difference. I hope that if he knows anything he'll reveal it. It's good that you don't let anger consume you - for your sake and the sake of those who need you, not his. Take care of yourself, Sharon. I hope there are people taking care of you too.

      Cindy

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    3. Cindy, I don't know whether he is able to or not. The comment was made in passing, and I didn't really ask any questions. (As you have probably figured out, I am not good at asking questions, perhaps because I don't want to have to think a lot about some of these things.) I'm not sure how much access he has to computers, or how regular it is, or if there is any filtering in place on the computers he is allowed to access.

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    4. Sharon, I don't blame you for not asking such questions. The less you think about Shermantine and other such people the better. In retrospect, I'm sorry I brought it up. That comment just bugged me.

      Cindy

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    5. The man who did this could be on here and watching everything I wish people like this didn't exist I been reading and learning a out all this today I'm glued to it I even cried I've been into the Ramsey case since I was 8 its sad there's people like this my names Alexandrea prayers to you and yours

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  16. Thank you for the update, Sharon. I've been thinking of you as you wait for your phone to ring with results. You're entitled to your feelings and entitled to express your feelings on your blog however you see fit. I've never had anything precious suddenly taken from my life 24 years ago and can only imagine how I would feel if it were to happen. I'd imagine there would be no right or wrong emotion, only the constant roller coaster ride you've been on. Either way this turns out, you're still filled with questions I'm sure. If it is Michaele, you'd probably question why? when? how? And if it's not her, you'd probably question where are you? will we find each other? So I know when the call comes you'll still be dealing with a lot and just want you to know that though I'm a complete stranger to you and more than likely we'll never meet (on earth anyway), I think of you often and only wish the best for you and your family, today and always!

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  17. Sharon, you are an amazing woman. A loving, doting, mother. You are truly an inspiration to mothers everywhere. I have been, and will continue to pray for Michaela. For you, and your family. And what ever the test results will be, know that others love you, and care for you deeply. God bless.

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  18. I have been catching up on your blogs, I want to say I hope you had a great Christmas, a Happy New Year and a very happy Birthday!
    I think Shermantine started out giving up the locations because he was thinking only of himself, wanted money and also wanted to get back at Herzog. But I think that as the bodies were found and families got their loved ones back, Shermantine started to feel the weight of all the guilt start to come off. Now I am sure there is still motives that are self serving, but I think his heart has started to change and actually feel for some of the Victims loved one's.
    What angers me is that he has been honest when telling of burial sites, and yet after finding a well, and remains on his families property.......the County Sheriff has not done anything since February with all of the other sites he has named. I sure hope they can bring these poor people home, and not forget about them.

    Take care
    Rod R.

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  19. Sharon, please excuse my momentary ignorance regarding Wesley Shermantine, but isn't he currently incarcerated? If this is so, how might he have access to the internet (to read your blog)? Do they allow prisoners to access the internet? In any case, God Bless you Sharon.. I continue to hope, ultimately, for the best possible outcome to this case. I do think of your daughter often, especially now that I have a 9 year old daughter of my own.
    John

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    1. He is on death row. I don't know anything about prison policies myself, or where or how he might have seen it.

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    2. I have read that Shermantine has a son who will no longer speak to him. In an interview Shermantine stated that was one of the reasons he admitted he "was a part" of some stuff. Or whatever. The gist here,if Shermantine does in fact read this,Id like to add,if you do nothing for the rest of your life,nothing for anyone - please,give Sharon back what you have lost yourself. She has not been able to hold Michaela for 24 years or laugh with her. She did not get to help her pick out a wedding dress or any of the things mothers should be able to do with their daughters. Look into your own heart and please bring her daughter back to her so she can have peace. I think she deserves it.

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  20. If she is gone, I don't have a death wish or anything, but i would seriously trade places with your precious Michaela so you could have her back. I am so sorry. I will pray for you. God bless you.

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  21. Sharon, you continue to be an inspiration and I admire how strong you are. As others have said here, remembering you and the hard road you've traveled helps keep so many of us here grounded and better parents or simply better people. I pray often for you and your family, especially Michaela. She is always in my mind and my heart, as you are. God bless you and keep your chin up!

    Paula - from Illinois

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  22. I have read a lot of your post,Sharon.I live in The Netherlands and am a mother myself,when you wrote about a fly, captured it to take outside I was a little suprised,because I always do that too.
    It shows how much love you have in your heart for life and it breaks my heart to know that your beautiful young girl was stolen from that.
    I really hope that 2013 gives you and your family the peace and
    disclosure.
    All my best wishes for strenght and light.
    Ester.

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  23. There are people and agencies that work with people on death row. They can add themselves to dating sites and other places, and these people print the letters and send them to the death row prisoners. Joseph Duncan has a website called the Fifth nail where he blogs his filth! Mark Klass said that the man who killed Polly updates a website where he can spill his filth as well.

    When a prisoner like Shermantine is willing to talk and give up where he has hidden victims, Im all for it. But maybe they should limit their contact to nothing but that. If you want to talk we will listen and give you privileges, but if not you will be isolated and barely see sunlight until you do. Then you might get some of these people to give up their secrets. Sadly Shermantine is the only one that is giving up secrets.

    Rod R.

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  24. San Quentin death row prisoners never have legal access to the internet.

    Some may have illegal phones with access but it isnt likely Westley would have access to one as he has nothing to offer anyone for "extras". This is the reason he wants to have the restitution paid so he can use the canteen.

    I would guess a reporter, investigator or just someone hoping to get answers out of him printed parts of your blog out and gave them to him.

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  25. "Many condemned inmates actually have Web sites from which they solicit pen pals, including Moon, who claims on his Web site to have found God and been forgiven."

    Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/INSIDE-DEATH-ROW-At-San-Quentin-647-condemned-2594023.php#ixzz2H8yVIH91

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    1. I just get it! Prison is supposed to be for punishment. Not a vacation. Unbelievable! No wonder the prisons are so over crowded.

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  26. No, I have a childhood friend who was recently released from San Quentin after 18 years and I asked him to be sure. It is shocking to me what prisoners can gain access to in prison if they have something to offer or trade. Internet is impossible legally and highly unlikely illegally.
    I did work in Law enforcement many years ago, back when Michaela was kidnapped but thankfully never in the prisons!

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    1. If he was released, I'm guessing he was not on death row. Death row prisoners are actually afforded some privileges that others aren't because they have to be afforded the opportunity to research their cases, etc. I have not been there myself and don't know the details, but I do know that death row inmates do access the internet one way or another, because they have websites. Shermantine could well have seen a hard copy of my blog, but I don't think any of us actually knows. One day I will ask someone who does.

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  27. Sharon,
    Should Wesley be privy to your blog by any means, my understanding is he has two sons, who are indeed good sons. They have suffered enough for the deeds of their father. And I do believe he truelly cares about them. So Wesley, I doubt that you could or would do anything to bring them more pain or shame. As a parent, who is trying to do the right thing now, hear the pain in Sharon's request. Feel the pain in your own heart at the loss of your sons, and give back these children to their parents. Each of your victims had parents or children who need them back. Even if you say you did not take Michaela, if you know anything at all, please tell Sharon or someone you trust. And what ever you know about other situations, or attempted situations, even if they have not been brought to light yet. Let it all go. Who knows. Maybe someday your sons will be able to forgive you. Each of your victims had parents, or
    children of thier own. I hope someone does see you get this and you open your heart. Maybe your sons will open theirs and have compassion for you and whatever caused you or happened to you to cause you to do such things. I personally feel Loren was the force behind what happened, but you need to take responsibility for your part and do EVERYTHING you can to end this torment for everyone. Please just think about it.

    Danya
    Los Banos

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  28. Those websites go through a third party. California does not allow state or federal inmates internet access.

    While death row inmates do have some perks such as liberal phone access, breakfast and dinner served in their cells and bigger individual cells they do not have legal internet access. At SQ there are some computers for researching legal issues. These computers don’t have internet access.
    http://bitshare.tumblr.com/post/19963173418/connecting-prisoners-at-san-quentin-to-the-world-via

    By the way wesley has a dating sight...
    http://www.deathrowinmate.org/penpal-classifieds/wesley-shermantine-sqsp
    The sight seems to be down right now but was up an hour ago.

    California prisons are working on a installing cell blocking technology in the next 3 years
    http://www.turnto23.com/news/local-news/ca-prison-officials-to-start-using-new-cellphone-blocking-technology

    All that being said.. Charles Manson has been caught with a cell phone at least twice. So I suppose anything is possible....

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  29. Danya,
    that was a great post! To Shermantines credit he has made maps and even gone and pointed out where they dumped the bodies. And after they found remains on all 3 of the first maps he drew, the authorities have done nothing! He has now told them of countless more sites and said the number of victims could be has high as 72 people. Yet no digging or excavations have been done for months.

    Miss Gagliani has done such a heroic job trying to get people involved to push them to find these victims, including passing a bill so Shermantine could be released to show where the grave sites were. Hopefully in the next few months pressure is put on to bring closure to so many families.

    Rod R.

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    1. I don't know much about Shermantine or serial killers in general, but I can't imagine that someone with Shermantine's alleged history (i.e. the murder of dozens of people) would have the normal reactions of compassion, remorse and parental duty that we're hoping for. I understand he was a "speed freak" at the time of the crimes, but most "speed freaks" are not serial killers, so drug use isn't much of an explanation for his behavior. It seems like he must have had an incentive to reveal the information he's revealed so far. If so, what was it? Money? Revenge? Also, is the new information he's provided detailed enough to justify a search of the areas he's identified? If it is, why would the authorities just sit on such valuable information? A lot of this makes no sense to me. Perhaps he's playing games - offering a little information in hope of eliciting some kind of deal for himself in exchange for the necessary details. I'm sorry if this sounds cynical. Telling what he knows would be the best way to show that he's not the monster most people think he is.

      Cindy

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    2. Cindy, I don't know the man either. However, I do know for a fact that using methamphetamine very frequently induces psychosis, and can also wreck havoc with the sex drive. Obviously not everybody who uses meth kills people, but it certainly can push someone so inclined to act. I also know that once people get off the stuff, they will return a a more normal state of mind. As for my conjectures in the blog post above, I didn't make them up. I was at a meeting with several people who have met Shermantine, and I drew this from the conversation -- not that anybody there claimed to know for a fact what his motivations may be. Just impressions, perhaps that as has been commented on here, his initial motivation and his current motivation may not be the same.

      But you are dead wrong about that last part. Shermantine has given very detailed information. I have seen the huge maps he has made myself. The fact is that the Sheriff of San Joaquin County for some reason that nobody can fathom has decided to make himself into a roadblock, hampering the investigation at every single turn. I know that may seem believable, but there is no room for doubting or questioning this. It is a fact, 100 percent certain. In fact, the FBI was supposed to go in and excavate the second well, but the Sheriff would not allow them to do it and he is not doing it himself -- which is probably just as well, since they did such a horrid job in the first well, breaking up the fragile remains with their heavy construction equipment, misidentifying them and returning them to the wrong families. If this guy doesn't shape up, I wouldn't be surprised if legislation ended up being passed that is named after him to prevent this kind of thing from happening in the future.

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    3. And one other thing ... in line with the comment about his motivation changing ... I absolutely believe that once someone has done good and has felt that result of that in their hearts, it can change them.

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    4. Sharon, regarding the Sheriff, it is unbelievable, but I believe you. I just can't imagine what would be his motivation for being such a massive roadblock (to put it politely). I knew about the bungled excavation of the first well, but assumed that it was due to incompetence, which although terrible, is forgivable. His behavior as you describe it, however, is well beyond incompetent. I guess it just goes to show that people don't always behave as one would expect them to. Perhaps this will be the case with Shermantine as well. I hope so.

      Cindy

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    5. The sheriff's behavior is something he will live to regret if this bone turns out to be Michaela -- or most likely, this will be true whoever it turns out to be. You realize that if this is Michaela, I could have gone my whole entire life never knowing what happened to her because of his bungling, ineptitude, and lack of common decency.

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    6. I do realize that Sharon, and when I said "forgivable" I didn't mean that it was okay. Even if it was an honest mistake, he should be held accountable. But it sounds like he's a systematic, intentional bungler, which is much worse, and he needs to be held accountable for all the unnecessary suffering he's causing.

      Cindy

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    7. Cindy, I was speaking generally, rather than in response to what you said ... although now that you mention it, there is nothing in the sheriff's handling of this case that I find forgivable. I attended a meeting which included most of the (known) victim families, as well as others who have been working on this, and the stories I heard are outrageous.

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  30. Sharon I agree with everything you said. Leonard Padilla has said that the reason they are not un covering the rest of the victims is Money! The Sheriff says it cost $100,000 last time so he threatens to cut officers to pay for it, and he doesnt work well with others (IE the FBI, other police agencies). His ego is off the charts!

    Hopefully the Governor or the Attorney General gets involved and gets this moving. I personally think he should face charges for obstruction of justice, desecration of remains and anything else they can pin on him.

    I encourage anyone that cares about these cases to start writing to Sacramento to get things moving and Sheriff Moore Out of the way!

    Rod R.

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    1. Personally, I think he's psycho. It's definitely not a financial issue, because he has handled the investigation totally improperly even in things that wouldn't cost a penny.

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    2. Sharon,

      We share a precious gift - our grand children, Michaela's nieces. I have been following your blogs for many years, waiting for news like so many others.. I cannot not fathom the sorrow and emptiness that you have endured for way too many years.. My heart goes out to you , to put it simply. If this bone is proven to be part of you, then closure for Michaela can begin, if not then the search will continue.. May god bless you and continue to watch over you and Michaela.

      Scott Kinney - Concord CA.

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    3. Good suggestion, Rod. R., even if he is a psycho.

      Cindy

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    4. For lack of better words and keeping in line with using non-four letter words,I find this appalling. Its just beyond comprehension to me. And I do not even live in California but I am not above writing a letter in regards to this.

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    5. A good way to put an end to the callous and ignorant behavior of a public servant like the sheriff is to draw public attention to it. I'm at the other end of the country, so I don't know if the local media in San Joaquin county has picked up on the sheriff's appalling actions thus far. Has there been a public outcry? (It's hard to imagine that there hasn't.) Is the sheriff up for re-election anytime soon? Can we start a letter-writing campaign to the governor? Who has the power to compel this sheriff to hand the investigation over to the FBI?

      Wendy

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    6. Don't worry we will be doing something to stop him from becoming sheriff again! Nothing the sheriff has done is forgivable. They have mishandle every aspect of Jo Ann's case, from the dig to the returning of multiple people back to my family! We were assured Jo Ann was the only person they had given us but low and behold we got more than 3 plus! Things will start rolling very quickly soon! All I can say is watch the news. I think everyone who believes one of their family members who may be a victim should show up with signs picketing the sheriff asking him to resign this would send a huge message. I also feel we should start a list of names to be published for all to see. So the community will get to know how long this list really is. If most of the victims families where told like us, they're loved one ran away or just left. Some of us know deep down in our hearts they didn't just leave us of their own free will. If anyone really wants to picket I will set a day and time.
      Michelle Loftis

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    7. Could Gov. Brown remove Sheriff Moore from his post? The incompetence he has demonstrated in this entire matter is ample evidence that he has no idea what he's doing, in my humble opinion. If a petition on an online site such as change.org were to be posted, I'd be the first to sign it.

      Julie (born & raised in California)

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  31. I didn't think a Sheriff could keep the FBI out of such an investigation? How can he get away with simply not allowing or "working well" with the FBI when it comes to uncovering victims. Sounds like someone has too much power.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a jursdictional matter, so it seems he can.

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    2. Sadly, that is true. I don't know if you're familiar at all with the murder of Kaitlyn Arquette - author Lois Duncan's daughter, who was murdered in Albuquerque, NM, in July 1989. The Arquettes have multiple instances of malfeasance in the Albuquerque PD, but it seems the FBI can't step in without being asked - there has to be evidence of interstate federal crime. For those who were murdered in the same state in which the crime occurred, the local PD has jurisdiction.

      Julie

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  32. Cindy,

    I know for a fact the maps exist, and were supplied by Shermantine to help, out of remorse. The person who told me this knows him well enough to judge the validity of his remorse. The day I met Shermantine he allowed me to live, and let me get away, when initially he and Herzog wanted and intended to kill me. So I know there is somewhere in him the ability for compassion, or something like it. Maybe moments of rationality. What ever it is, if he can bring himself to that place now, that's all that really matters. Does it really matter why? It wouldn't if it were my child, and my child was nearly with me the day I encountered them, so I do have a sense of what the last 24 years have been for Sharon and the others. Nowhere near the same, but I feel their pain and would settle it at just about any cost, and it would end alot of mine too. So Wesley, even if you don't remember me, I have't gone a day without remembering you and Loren. Show these families, give them what you gave me that day. The best in you.
    You understand why I have to sign anonymous, Wesley

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous, thank you for sharing your experience. My reason for questioning his motivation was to better understand how he could be convinced to let families know the locations of the victims' remains. I now understand that he's already done that and that the problem lies with the sheriff in that he isn't acting on the information. Of course I agree with you - there is no need to question his motivation once the information has been provided. For Sharon's sake I hope he'll also reveal anything he knows about Michaela - if he knows anything.

      Cindy

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  33. Sorry for saying this Sharon but the speed freak killers used Stabbing, Shooting, and Strangling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why be sorry? Why not just shut up in the first place? If I said I didn't ask because I didn't want to know, then who the hell are you to try to tell me? Fortunately, you didn't really provide any real information, just described all the various ways killing can take place.

      Delete
    2. Dear Unknown, How would you know how they killed unless of course you were there! Maybe you should think before you speak. I have never seen such a heartless, empty minded post here before.

      Delete
    3. There are interrogation videos of Herzog and Shermantine on Youtube wherein those ugly details are discussed, but I would NEVER relay that information to Sharon after she explicitly stated that she was not ready to know. That is NOT your place. Have a heart.

      - Julia

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    4. Thank you everyone for your support. I have received your comments and read them, and I appreciate the time you took to write them. But I'm going to cut this off because I've had threads turn into long attacks, and I don't want to do that again. So thank you for your understanding.

      Delete
    5. I apologize, Sharon. It wasn't my intention to attack. I just reacted with surprise.

      -Julia

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    6. :'( Thanks for listening to us vent :-)

      Delete
    7. Next time don't accept a comment like this.

      Delete
    8. Why would you say that, Shelly? The thing is, I don't have a choice of not seeing it myself. I see everything that comes through. And I accepted it because I wanted to respond to it. And I did. And a few other people did also. But I am stopping it short of some of the kind of things that happened here.

      I also really hate to not publish comments. It feels disrespectful to my readers. As in this case, if that happens I need to explain myself.

      Delete
    9. In my opinion, Sharon has the exclusive right to decide what is posted here and what is not. It is HER blog. If you don't like it, don't read it.

      Delete
  34. I have never met you but I think of you and Michaela often. After hearing your story several years ago it really touched me. I was born the same year as Michaela and although I am not particularly religious, my occasional prayers always include you and your daughter.
    I hope that whatever the results are that you can ultimately find the strength to accept them and hopefully some peace.
    You are such a strong, inspirational woman and you deserve to have the weight of uncertainty and worry lifted. Bless you and your family Sharon.

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  35. Sharon, I know that in your heart you are thinking that the bone belongs to Michaela. Well I read that they found items belonging to the victims. Since they didn't find anything that belonged to Michaela I feel that is a good sign. I know that items deteriorate over time but shoes and clothing would probably still be recognizable. I hope this gives you some hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fact is that the items found have not been dealt with any more appropriately than the remains themselves. Most of the clothing was too degraded to know exactly what it was or whose it was. And there may have been some items which could have been Michaela's.

      Delete
    2. Is there an inventory of belongings that have been recovered? Anything? Where are these belongings now? I do not understand this jurisdictional nonsense. I remember your P.D.'s struggle to get information during the Garrido investigation, and now this? Sharon, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with such pettiness. This sheriff has the power to reunite scores of grieving family members with the remains of their loved ones, but he's choosing to do ... nothing. Worse than nothing. It's unbelievable. Wendy

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    3. Have they found the three-inch-long white earrings that resemble feathers? metal and plastic take along time to decompose I'm guessing they could still be there as well as the black cloth shoes with brown plastic soles. And do you know how many people are buried there three have been found almost four.

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    4. Jose,
      can you tell me where to read about those items. What news article. I havent heard about them.
      Thank you

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  36. There are occasions when I am reading comments on my cell phone and my finger is so big and the print is so little that I accidentally reject a comment instead of approving it. I can't find a trash to get them out of once I've done that either. Sorry!

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  37. Yeah I think you may be right, this Sheriff is a Psycho! I dont understand how he can act like this! At some point the hammer needs to come down on him.

    Rod R.

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  38. Sharon. If you get a chance,listen to "Never Let Me Go" by Florence and The Machine. Beautiful music that will cut right to the soul. Sending prayers to you tonight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Florence. I just listened to it on my iTunes. Think you.

      Delete
  39. Thinking of you, Sharon. This last blog entry of yours was not only about Shermantine but also your current state of mind and body. As you read this, I hope you can find a minute to take a deep breath. In my heart, I don't think this bone will be Michaela's. I hoscarcest killers can one day be ruled out and you can continue to search for your little girl, now grown, until one day soon you
    find her. Until I know otherwise, that's what I'll believe.

    Cindy

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  40. According to KXTV's website, evidently excavation resumed today in Linden. It looks like the FBI is working with the San Joaquin County Sheriff's department to do this one - hopefully the FBI can save those SJC idiots from themselves.

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  41. MICHELLE LOFTIS,
    IF YOU ARE GOING TO PICKET, MAKE SURE I KNOW WHEN AND WHERE. IF THAT'S OK WITH SHARON TO USE HER BLOG. OR SHE CAN GIVE YOU MY EMAIL.

    THANKS
    DANYA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For sure I will let Sharon know and anyone else willing to help.

      I just watched the news. Seeing the backhoe digging. It gave me heart palpations. But I am glad to see they are digging so carefully. I just wish the same carefulness would have been applied at the first well.

      Sharon, I hope your day is a great one. Your in my thoughts. Everyone take care!
      Michelle Loftis

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  42. Sharon,

    I'd like to add a comment to your amazing request of Westly.

    Westly I am a recovering addict my self been clean for over 28 yrs, drug of choice... speed and booze. The combination makes for one crazy life and actions that later make no sense. The thoughts no matter how twisted seem so real and it feels like you must act on them. This is the evil of addiction, the part that we all wish we could forget. Yet it's imparative we remember and make ammeds to the best of our abilty once we get clean. I hope your clean in jail, I hope you have support in your efforts of recovery. And on that path you realize that the family of those you harmed deserve closue, deserve to lay their children to rest. Addicts live with guilt and shame, and the more bad things I did the more dope I needed to not feel.Once clean I realized that I had hurt so many ppl and the only way to live my life guilt free ( Or as free as possible) was to own up to my mistakes and make ammends to those I had harmed. The world may never fogive me for some of my mistakes so today I try to be honest and know that I have forgiven myself, I have forgiven others
    and my higher power has forgiven me.

    If you have any idea of what happened to or where this child can be found I ask you to search your heart and tell someone

    JT


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  43. Did the living witness ever see this picture of Herzog & give her thoughts? http://www.crimezzz.net/images/serialkiller_picts/H/HERZOG_loren_joseph.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The eyewitness has said Herzog could be the kidnapper based on his appearance. Unfortunately there have been MANY lookalike a over the years so that is not a determining factor.

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    2. I see. I remember a news reporter Rita Williams- at the 2012 (?) ribbon tree gathering- showing a copy of a Shermantine letter to someone in high position (Keener?) and mentioning the letter said he referred to Castro Valley & Hayward wells.- Has there been any follow up ?
      Details are a bit fuzzy I’ll see if I can find a news link

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    3. Yes of course it has. It has received a lion's share of the investigative resources even though it is probably not the strongest lead we have.

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    4. It is a relief to hear this terrible direction is not the strongest lead in Michaela’s missing case.
      I’m beginning to think the digs might have stopped because of waiting for Shermantine’s execution or death by natural causes. Purposeful delays would be time and cost effective.

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    5. p.s.The map locations are already drawn & in legal custody. Looking good over conservation in budget/money issues continue. Families of missing continue to be kept in cruel suspense.
      Will these victims ever have their voice heard?

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